Are We There Yet?
by GalnKay
Summary: A certain aristocrat discovers many surprising things about our beloved Miss Granger.
1. Part the First: Car Ride to Hell

They had been driving for what seemed like forever. Mad-Eye had thought it to be a safer mean of transportation than apparation or brooms. A week ago, it had seemed to be a great plan, and everyone had been enthusiastic. But today, after spending six hours cooped up in a car, the members of the Order were a grumbling, complaining, and sulking group of people. Moody had accumulated three Ministry cars, and had split everyone into groups. In the first car: Tonks, Ginny, Fred, Ron, Fleur, and Molly. In the second: Moody, Arthur, Bill Weasley, and George. And trailing behind in the third car were: Sirius, Remus, Harry, Kingsly, and Hermione.

Hermione had been irritated, nay, royally pissed off, to find out that she had to embark upon a nine hour road trip in a car full of men. She had practically begged Moody to place her in a car with Ginny and Tonks, so tht she could at least have some decent feminine company. The stubborn auror turned every one of her requests down, going into a large rant about her protection and her importance to the Order. The meeting had ended in Hermione leaving the room angrily, 'accidentally' breaking one of Sirius' mother's antique vases on her way out.

And now, she was here, placed in between Harry and Remus, with Sirius sitting facing her, and Kingsly driving. It wouldn't have been that bad, except for the fact that no one had thought to bring along anything to do. Harry had suggested a game of 'I Spy', but was instantly quieted by a chorus of firm no's accompanied by some eye-rolling. Curiously, Hermione had reached under the seat, and pulled out a travel bingo set. The guys were willing to give the child-ish game a try, considering that it was the only thing to do anyways. For half an hour, they had all played an exceptionally boring game of bingo, until Sirius had reached up front and practically pounded the car's radio button in frustration.

Which, again, wouldnt have been so terrible, if Sirius would have stopped changing radio stations every ten seconds. No one could agree on a song to listen to, until Hermione had ended the argument by choosing a Muggle station. Harry looked quite eager to introduce his godfather to his favorite Muggle songs, and had second-ed her motion. Reluctantly Sirius gave in, and had retracted his arm from the radio buttons.

Sirius and Remus watched, amused, as Harry and Hermione sang loudly to the songs that they knew, and danced to the ones that they didn't. Even the normally quiet Kingsly was laughing loudly at the two young friends. Harry had executed a pretty epic air-guitar solo, when Hermione's utter embarrassment began.

_Ohhhh. Comin' out your mouth with your 'blah blah blah'. Zip your lips like a padlock, and meet me in the back with your jack at the juke-box. I dont really care where you live at. Just turn around boy let me hit that. Dont be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dick's at. _

Hermione blushed red. Sirius laughed. Harry sang along. Remus raised his eyebrow's. And Kingsly blushed. Harry looked at Hermione.

"Come, on, 'Mione, you have to know that song."

"I-I do." she whispered, her face scarlet. Sirius snorted. Hermione looked at him boldly. "I do. I have the album at home." Sirius chuckled in surprise, and smirked smugly at her.

"So, our little Gryffindor Princess has a secret love for dirty music? It's always the smart ones." he teased, folding his hands innocently on his lap. Hermione scowled at him, and the song faded out. Just then, they hit a stop light, and the car came to a screeching halt as Kingsly slammed the brakes, jerking them all forward. As Kingsly apologised, the group readjusted themselves.

"Oh, 'Mione, your bag tipped." Harry said, nodding at the floor where Hermione's purse had fallen open, and her belongings were strewn across the floor of the car. Hermione grumbled, and began to pick up her things, with Harry's help. But she gasped, as Sirius reached down and plucked a book that had slid from her purse to under his seat. Hermione grimaced as an evil grin slid across his face while he read the cover of the novel.

"_Spurs And Leather_? Quote, 'A steamy read for the steamiest reader. Sexy, sweaty, and sophisticated.' Well, Hermione, I sure am learning a lot about you today." Sirius said, holding back a peal of laughter as Hermione angrily snatched the book from his hands. Remus, cleared his throat, obviously wanting to laugh as well.

To top it all, they decided to stop to take a restroom break. As everyone got out of the cars, Hermione had hopped out of the car after Remus, and began to stretch, thankful for the fresh air. She bent down to touch her toes, she heard Sirius gulp behind her. She spun around, and scowled at him.

"What?" she snapped. Sirius took a deep breath.

"You-you're wearing...a thong." he spluttered. Hermione felt a deep flush creeping up her neck, as she remembered hastily putting on a lacy black thong on that morning.

"Plenty of people wear them, Black." she spat, storming back to the car. She had sulked in the back seat until everyone else had gotten back in, trying to ignore the looks of smugness, curiosity, knowing-ness, and desire coming from a certain Sirius Black. After a few more uneventful hours, Kingsly had decided to stop for some dinner. He pulled into a Muggle cafe, and everyone piled out of the car, eager for food. Hermione shivered in the night air.

"Kingsly, it's a bit chilly. I need to get my jacket from the trunk." she said, nodding back towards the car. Kingsly popped the trunk, and Hermione tried to pull her over-night bag out from under Harry's, but with no avail. She beckoned Sirius over to help. With their combined strength, they managed to dislodge the duffel bag. Sirius lifted the bag up so that she could retrieve her coat. Unfortunately, Sirius' sleeve accidentally got snagged on the front zipper of her bag, and out tumbled her handy dandy vibrator. Hermione hastily picked it up, and tossed it back into it's pocket. But Sirius had already seen it.

"Well, honestly, I had no idea what a horny little girl you are, Hermione, pet." he growled. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I am not a horny little girl, Sirius. I am a perfectly normal adult." she corrected. Sirius chuckled.

"That may be, but I always took you as more of the innocently prude-ish, virginal, blushing bride type of girl." he commented, slamming the trunk, and walking with her back to the restaurant. Hermione snorted.

"I most certainly am not any of those things, especally innocent or virginal." she said, laughing lightly. Sirius thought for a moment.

"You're not?"

"Not at all. Lost my virginity a long time ago. And innocent?" Hermione paused to laugh. "I'm very dirty in the bedroom, as well as experienced."

"Oh, is that right? Just how dirty are you, princess?" Sirius asked, his eyes growing suddenly dark and his voice getting deeper. Hermione stepped in front of him, and grinned coquetteishly at him.

"Well, Black, that's for me to know and you to find out." she said. She winked at him, before walking into the restaurant, and leaving him standing like a statue with an expression of shock on his face, and a very annoying tightness in his pants.

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><p><strong>This is an idea that came to me a while back on a car trip. Haha. <strong>

**It's completely random, but I personally love it. **

**So, read and review! **

**KAY:)**


	2. Part the Second: Christening of a Hotel

**Are We There Yet? **

**Part The Second:**

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><p>She could not believe it. It was like a terrible nightmare. A nightmare that she just couldn't wake up from, no matter how many times she mentally bitch-slapped herself.<p>

A hotel. Was this really the best idea that Mad-Eye could think of? Over all of the other lodging options, he had chosen a cheap Muggle motel? The rooms were dingy, with their old curtains and retro-patterned bedspreads and flickering lights. The entire space reeked of cigarette smoke.

Hermione had tapped her foot impatiently upon the scuffed up plastic tile floor of the hotel lobby, right in time to the outdated Spice Girls track that had been playing in the background. The entire Order had been waiting for their room keys and their room assignments. Mad-Eye had hobbled over to them from the front desk, the keys in their packets. He looked at the group, and began to give the room assignments.

"Right then. Room arrangements. Same as the car arrangements. Tonk's group, room 113. My group, room 115. Kingsley, your group can take room 116. Now. Go rest up, we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

After being jammed into a car with Sirius, the last thing she wanted to do was be jammed into a room with him, especially now, after he had discovered so many of her dirty little fantasies. But, here she was, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Hermione stood in the doorway, holding her suitcase in her left hand, a disgusted look plastered on her face as she looked at the room. Sirius squeezed past her, carrying some more of the bags and trunks.

"You look happy." he commented, setting the bags down on the floor with a sigh, looking around the room for himself. Hermione shook her head.

"Merlin', this is just bloody awful, isn't it?" she asked, partly to herself, partly to Sirius. Sirius grinned.

"Just be thankful we aren't sleeping in the car." he reminded her. Hermione scowled, and plopped her own bags down on one of the beds.

"Who gave him the bright idea to do everything Muggle style anyways?"

"For one thing, I guess he thinks it's safer than doing everything by magic. I guess I understand that, but it takes such a long time to do things the Muggle way." Sirius said, running a hand through his hair. "Plus, it's more fun."

"These beds aren't too bad." Hermione observed, taking a seat on one, and running her hand over it. Sirius looked at her and smirked as a look of horror appeared on her face.

"What's up your knickers?" he asked with a chuckle. Hermione opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat.

"Where am I going to sleep?" she asked. Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Moody already promised you to me, lovely. Maybe we could get some use out of that vibrator of yours." he said, his face serious. Hermione flushed red. Sirius burst out laughing.

"Nah, Moody packed some sleep away beds. Magic, you know." he said, flicking his wand, causing two fold out beds to fly out of one of the trunks. Hermione exhaled, and glared at him.

"Sirius Black, I hate you." she said. Sirius stuck his tongue out at her. The door flew open and Remus, Harry, and Kingsly stepped in. Hermione smiled as Harry sat down beside her, pulling her close.

"Damn, 'Mione, is this place not awful?" he asked, wrinkling up his nose. Hermione laughed. Remus rubbed his hands together.

"I figured we'd be chivalrous and let 'Mione have a bed to herself. Sirius and I can share one, and Harry and Kingsley can just each have a pull out bed." he said, looking around at his surroundings. Everyone nodded at him. Hermione stood up.

"Well, I'm getting ready for bed." she announced. Sirius stood up as well.

"I'll run down to the lobby and grab some drinks." he said, heading for the door. Remus looked at him.

"I'll go get some food from the other rooms." he said, smiling. Harry and Kingsley also rose from their seats.

"I'm going to go tell Ginny goodnight." Harry said with a wink.

"I have a meeting with Arthur." Kingsley commented, also walking out of the room. Remus stuck his head back through the door.

"You'll be alright, 'Mione?" he asked. She nodded, and he locked the door behind him.

Hermione smiled and unzipped her bag, grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste. She stood at the sink, cleaning her teeth, and washing her face. She peeked into the bathroom, which looked surprisingly adequate, and reached for the hotel soaps.

The shower felt wonderful. The hot water and humidity loosened her muscles, which were stiff from the car ride. She sighed as the water pounded her back, and massaged the shampoo into her scalp. She began to hum; she always sang softly in the shower. She closed her eyes and began touching herself, sliding her fingers in and out of her tiny hole. She scrunched up her face, trying to hold back a moan. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't quit wishing that it was Sirius' fingers touching her so intimately, giving her such bliss. She couldn't help the small grin that was on her face as she indulged herself in her private fantasy. She was so emerged in her pleasures that she didn't even hear the bathroom door swing open, until the shower curtain was yanked back. She screamed as she saw a wide eyed Sirius Black standing, still holding the curtain in his hand. He looked over her dripping body, still covered with body wash, her hair piled on top of her head with shampoo, and three of her fingers still in her vagina. She turned around to cover herself, and after a second, Sirius seemed to remember where he was. He quickly turned around.

"Oh, God, Hermione, I'm sorry- I thought you were-" he stuttered. Hermione grabbed a towel from the rack by the tub and wrapped it around her body.

"Out!" she yelled. Sirius complied. She grumbled to herself as she dried herself off, and pulled on her pajamas, magically drying her hair and putting it into a ponytail. She took a deep breath, still embarrassed. It wasn't the fact that he had seen her naked; she had nothing to be ashamed of. But it was the fact that _he _had seen her naked that bothered her. To add to it, he had seen her masturbating, and more ironically, masturbating to his name, but thank God he didn't know _that._ She gulped and rubbed her temples before emerging from the bathroom, towel in her arms, and a trail of steam exiting behind her. She didn't look at Sirius, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, twiddling his thumbs nervously. She finally gathered the courage to look at him.

"What the hell was that?" she asked, shaking her head at him. Sirius looked at his feet.

"Hermione, I'm sorry, I thought you were Remus! I thought he had come back already, and I didn't know you were taking a shower, and I was just going to ask him what he wanted to drink, and oh, gods, 'Mione."

"Why would you be pulling the curtain back with Remus in the shower?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"This sounds odd, but Remus has this abnormal fear of nakedness. I'm serious, he cant stand nude people including himself, so he just showers in his swim trunks." Sirius said, looking at her apologetically. Hermione bit her lip.

"How much did you see?" she whispered. Sirius paled.

"Uh. About everything there is to see." he said awkwardly, shuffling his feet. Hermione blushed scarlet, and buried her face in her hands.

"I'm going to bed." she said quietly, turning down the comforter, and slipping into bed. Sirius nodded stiffly, at her, and did the same. A little later, Remus, Kingsley, and Harry came back, flicking on the lights and waking Sirius and Hermione.

"Sorry, Moody wanted to talk to Kingsley and I." Remus explained to Sirius, sliding his shoes off. Hermione looked at Harry.

"What about you?" she asked him. He swallowed hard.

"I was getting to know Ginny a little better, if you get my drift." Harry mumbled. Hermione gagged, Remus and Kingsley chuckled, and Sirius gave Harry a high five. Remus held up a Muggle grocery bag.

"I got the food." he stated, handing out assorted Muggle and Wizard confections and some of Mrs. Weasly's home-made pie. Hermione sat crossed-legged on her bed, beside Harry, quietly munching on a chocolate frog, and avoiding all eye contact with Sirius. Kingsley glanced around the room.

"Let's all play a game." he suggested. Hermione tilted her head at him, swallowing the candy.

"What kind of a game?" she asked. Sirius raised his hand childishly.

"A drinking game, of course." he said simply. Hermione rolled her eyes at him.

"We don't have any drinks, Sirius."

"Yes we do, 'Mione, my darling. A new bottle of fire whiskey from my personal stash." he said, grinning. Hermione raised an eyebrow at him.

"You carry hard liquor in your suitcase?"

"Yes, well, love, it definitely doesn't match up to what _you _carry around in _your _suitcase now does it?" he replied, a knowing look in his eyes. Hermione cleared her throat, ignoring the questioning looks on everyone else's face. She quickly changed the subject.

"I'm not in the mood to drink anyways." she said. Remus nodded.

"I'm actually quite tired." he said. Kingsley nodded. Sirius frowned.

"Fine. We'll all sit here and be bored." he mumbled, crossing his arms. Remus shook his head and smiled.

"I have a game. Let's see who can go to sleep first." he said, crawling into bed. Everyone looked at him oddly. He shrugged.

"Goodnight." he said, rolling over. Sirius took one look at his friend.

"Moony, I love you, man, but I really don't want to sleep with you." he stated. Remus rolled over.

"Where will you sleep?" he asked. Sirius thought for a moment.

"I'll bunk with 'Mione!" he said, smirking evilly at her. She glared at him.

"No, absolutely not." she said firmly. Remus considered the idea.

"You could just put a pillow barrier up between you. Plus, he'd be complaining all night if he didn't get his way."

"And, later, Hermione, you'll find out that I get my way no matter what." Sirius added, his voice deep. Hermione shivered. Sirius walked over to her bed, and began to crawl in.

"It's settled, then. Goodnight all." Remus said, reaching over and turning off the lights.

Soon the little red numbers on the clock on the nightstand told her that it was past midnight. She couldn't sleep, and she knew that _he _was awake as well. She didn't want to move, for fear of brushing up against him, and she didn't want to sleep, for fear of what he'd do to her.

This entire situation was insane. Why was she in a room with them anyways? This was messed up, and she was hoping that it was a dream. She startled when she felt a hand on her belly. She growled and rolled over, meeting the penetrating stare of her bed-mate.

"Why are you awake?" she hissed. He grinned.

"I couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?" he asked. She huffed, and rolled onto her back. He frowned at her.

"You're mad at me?" he part asked, part stated. She looked at him daringly.

"How observant, Sirius." she mumbled.

"What did I do to cause this spout of anger?" he asked. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Maybe it's the fact that I've been completely humiliated today! My private life, my _extremely _private life, I might add, has been totally intruded upon. And not just the shower incident. Everything, from the car radio, to my book, to my vibrator falling out of my trunk! And it doesn't help at all that you keep teasing me about it." she whisper-scolded. Sirius smiled bitterly at her. She looked adorable when she was mad, her nose crinkled, her eyes flashing, her jaw clenching, her chest heaving.

"If it makes any difference, love, I'm angry at you, too." Sirius whispered, also rolling onto his back, and folding his arms tightly across his chest, just like her. Hermione's head whipped around so that she could look at him. Her expression was unreadable.

"What have I done to you?" she asked, beginning to sit up. Sirius glanced over at her, his bottom lip protruding childishly.

"Well, I think you're the one I have to blame for causing me to have a raging hard on ever since we hoppers out of the car." he whispered, his eyes dark and challenging. Hermione opened her mouth angrily, but Sirius silenced her.

"Shush, or you'll wake them up." he reminded. She closed her mouth but continued to give him the stink-eye. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Does that bother you? That you turned me on?" he asked, amused. Hermione continued to look at him. "Well it shouldn't bother you. Actually, you should be quite proud of yourself."

"I am _not _a turn on, Sirius Black. And I'm most definitely not some cheap slag who'll do whatever you want." she said crossly. He shrugged.

"I know that, but you are wrong about you not being a turn on."

"Excuse me?"

"Hermione, love, you're a turn on because you don't try. You don't try to be sexy, you just are. Just the natural look about you. Plus, I love how embarrassed you are over a few dirty little habits that you have. Really, people have done much worse." he said, laughing quietly. Hermione's expression softened.

"Really?" she asked. He nodded.

"Plus, it's even sexier when I find out that good little girls aren't so innocent. Especially, how did you say...'not innocent in the bedroom'?" he said, winking at her. Hermione blushed.

"I know I'm a lot older than you, love, but I would kind of like to get somewhere with you." he added. Hermione stiffened up.

"R-really?" she asked, again.

"I thought you said that you were experienced." Sirius teased. Hermione looked at him helplessly.

"I-I am. Normally. But it's just...when _you _say stuff like that. I don't know, I just freeze up and forget everything I know." she admitted, burying her face in her pillow. Sirius made sure that everyone was asleep before tentatively placing a gentle hand on her thigh.

"Don't worry, Hermione, I don't wanna push." he said slowly. She peeked out at him. He smiled warmly.

"Sirius, I don't mean to be forward, but I'd quite like for you to make hot, frenzied, passionate love to me right now." she said, smirking up at him. He laughed quietly, and with an animalistic growl, wrapped his arms around her, and began to devour her, completely. She purred when his kisses trailed between her breasts, and when his hands slipped under her shirt. She had to stop herself before she groaned loudly when he slipped her shirt over her head. She was about to explode as she felt his growing hardness pressing against her. She met his thrusts as they got faster and faster, until she came hard. Her nails left red marks on his bare shoulders, and her lip was bleeding from biting it so hard, trying to keep quiet. After basking in each other's afterglow, he kissed her slow and tender, until a light flickered on. They both looked up, and gasped as Harry emerged from the bathroom, a glass of water in his hand and a horrified expression on his face.

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><p><strong>So. Here is the long-awaited sequel to Are We There Yet. <strong>

**The first part seemed to be a sucess. **

**Tell me what you think! **

**:)**

**KAY**


	3. Part the Third: Hot Tub Love Machine

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part the Third**

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><p>Hermione had woken up feeling better than she had in a long time. But that blissful contentment quickly faded when she saw her bed-mate's eyes flutter open. Her stomach tightened and her heart sank when she remembered what had gone on the previous night. She had gotten out of bed, not talking to him, not touching him, not looking at him, because, now, he was off limits.<p>

She was thankful, however, when everyone had gone down for the hotel breakfast. She had stayed behind, wanting to be alone to catch up on her reading.

Forty-five minutes of pure, isolated heaven. She growled in frustration, though, when Ginny burst in the room, rudely popping her bubble of peace.

"'Mione, they have a pool!" Ginny squealed excitedly, bursting into the room the next morning. Hermione glanced up from her book. Ginny plopped onto the bed beside her.

"What are you reading?" Ginny asked, pausing her excitement, tilting her head and peering over at the book. Hermione couldn't help but crack a smile at her friend's fleeting attention span.

"A Muggle book. It's called Jane Eyre." Hermione explained. Ginny shrugged, and flipped her red hair aside with a posh air.

"I'm not much for Muggle literature." she said. Hermione smiled.

"So you said there's a pool?" she asked, closing the book, and setting it aside.

"Yeah! And the best part is, mum and dad went with Moody to some Order thing, so I can pull out the string bikini!" Ginny said with a grin. Hermione laughed. Harry shot Ginny a smirk from the other side of the room. Ginny hopped up and grabbed Hermione by the arm.

"Please go swimming with me!" she begged. "It's so nice outside, and the pool is all empty!"

"Fine, go get changed, and I'll meet you down there." Hermione said, pulling her swimsuit from her bag. Ginny nodded, and ran to her room to go get changed. Harry looked up at Hermione.

"'Mione, we need to talk." he said, grabbing her hands and leading her to the bed. Hermione sighed.

"Alright."

"You're my best friend, you and I are way closer than me and Ron. But you're sleeping around with my _godfather_? He's so much older than you. Why would you do that?" Harry asked, running a hand through his hair. Hermione stared at the triangle pattern on the carpet. Harry let out a deep breath, and put a comforting hand on her knee.

"I honestly don't care who you sleep with. Your love life is none of my business. But why Sirius? Why take that chance? You've seen the types of cheap slabs that he brings around."

"Harry, it was just spur of the moment sex, it didn't mean anything." she said. Harry raised an eyebrow at her. She took a deep breath. "And, I never take chances. I'm just always the person who colors inside the lines. Everyone always relies on me to do the right thing _all _the time. Honestly, I'm sick of it. Im tired of living up to everyone elses expectations. I'm ready to live a little, you know? Take a few risks."

"That makes sense, and, I mean, I fully support you. All I'm saying is that, I love you, 'Mione, you're the closest thing to a sister that I have, and I don't want to see you get hurt. I want you to be happy." Harry said, pulling her close. Hermione felt safe in the comfort of her best friend's arms, and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Harry." she whispered.

"Yeah? Just be careful with him, 'Mione. He doesn't like to be tied down." he said, stopping when Sirius and Remus walked in the room. Harry released he, after giving her one last squeeze. Hermione cleared her throat.

"Ginny and I were going to go for a swim." she said, standing up, and heading for the bathroom. Remus smiled.

"Mind if I tag along? A swim sounds nice." Remus said, eyeing Harry curiously. Hermione nodded. Sirius looked at her, his eyes dark. She quickly looked away, and shut the bathroom door. She pulled on her bikini, the skimpy red one, with small bows. She sat on the closed toilet seat, her head in her hands. How was she going to face him? She wrapped a towel around herself and walked out, annoyed to find only herself and Sirius in the room. To add to her frustration, he was shirtless. She avoided all eye contact.

"So. Last night." he said awkwardly. She glanced up at him.

"Last night never should have happened." she said quietly. Sirius looked at her.

"I'm sorry that it _did _happen. I let my desire get the best of me." he said, apologetically. She shifted her weight from her left foot to her right.

"I'm not looking for anything serious." she said simply.

"I'm not either."

"And no offense, Black, but you have a reputation." she said, wringing her hands. Sirius cleared his throat.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That I'm not ready to be tied down to a bed hopping playboy, any more than you want to be tied down to a teenage bookworm." she said forcefully. Sirius sighed. He couldn't help the niggling feeling in his stomach at the thought of the fact that she was pushing him away.

"Can we just pretend it never happened?" she asked. Sirius sighed and nodded in agreement, not looking at her.

"Go." he said, nodding towards the door, his voice strained. Hermione walked briskly down to the pool, not wanting to be stuck alone with Sirius anymore. Ginny saw her walking and waved.

"Hurry up! The water is fabulous!" the redhead called. Hermione laughed, and ran the rest of the way. Tossing off her towel, she cannon-balled into the water. Ginny clapped.

"Nice! Where's Sirius?" she asked. Hermione groaned.

"I don't know and I don't care either." she said. Ginny raised her eyebrows, amused.

"Oh?" she asked, putting on her gossip face. Hermione came closer to her, and began to whisper in her ear.

"Ginny, I had sex with him last night, and Harry caught us. Ever since this bloody trip began, I've only been embarrassed! He's mad at me because I explained to him that I didn't want sex to ruin things between us." Hermione hissed angrily, having already told her friend about the events of the car ride. Ginny looked impressed.

"Well that's quite a notch on your bedpost." she teased, making Hermione smirk. Ginny frowned.

"You know what? I say you just don't think about it. Enjoy the sunny day! Have fun in the water!" Ginny said good-naturedly, slinging her arm over Hermione's shoulders. Hermione shrugged.

"You're right. I wont let it bother me." she said, nodding her head, smiling. The two friends began to show off their tricks in the water, laughing and chattering, when a huge splash made them turn around. Sirius was having a violent splash war with his godson, laughing up a storm, his head thrown back in pure mirth. Ginny rolled her eyes while Hermione looked on fondly as Remus decided to join in. Ginny squealed as she accidentally got splashed in the face. Nodding over to the indoor hot tub, she got out of the pool. Hermione followed, excited about the jacuzzi. Ginny slipped into the warmth of the water as Hermione turned on the water jets from the control panel on the wall. They had the room to themselves, and they had a relaxing time. They looked up as the glass door opened. Sirius Black stepped in, shaking out his wet hair in a dog-like manner.

"I couldn't let you lovely ladies hog the hot tub, now could I?" he teased, dipping into the tub beside Hermione. Ginny winked at her friend, receiving a scowl in reply.

"Nature calls!" the red-head announced, jumping out of the pool, and making a mad dash out of the small stand alone building. Hermione scowled, and tilted her chin up in the air. Sirius clicked his tongue at her.

"So this is what I get? After giving you a night of complete pleasure?" he teased. Hermione didn't look at him. "So you're just not going to talk to me?"

"What is there to possibly talk about, Black?"

"Us." he stated matter-of-factly. She shook her head.

"There is no _us._" she said, making him smile.

"You'll come around, darling. They always do." he said, placing a hand in her knee. She swallowed hard.

"Stop." she said firmly, or, as firmly as she could with his hand traveling slowly up her leg. He scooted closer, and Hermione turned to face him, looking at him sternly.

"You don't really want me to stop. Just close your eyes, and give in, just like in those little books you so enjoy." he said, as if he was reading her mind. She shivered, his talented digits, creeping up her inner thigh, fingering the fabric of her bikini bottom. Hermione's eyes popped open.

"I'm serious!" she scolded. Sirius pulled back, grinning at her. She huffed.

"If you are going to be like this, then I'm leaving." she muttered. He put on a pouty face. She nodded, using the handrail to guide herself up the hot-tub steps. She heard Sirius gasp from behind her, and turned around sharply. His eyes were wide, and a blush was creeping up his neck. She looked down, horrified, as she realized that her bikini bottom had come untied, and was now floating in the bubbling water. She shrieked, and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her waist, and running out the door.

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><p><strong>Thank you for all of the feedback on the previous chapters! <strong>

**This chapter was kind of spontaneous. I had finished writing something else that I was going to use as Part Three, but then I went swimming, and my friend's bikini bottom came off, and it gave me an idea. **

**In other words, I already have the next part completely written and ready to be published. **

**Unfortunately for you, I am the type of writer who likes to space out updates, so 'Part the Fourth should be up sometime next week.**

**Sorry for the long A/N.**

**I hope you love!**

**KAY(:**


	4. Part the Fourth: The Wheels On The Bus

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Fourth**

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><p>Wonderful. Just amazing.<p>

Who didn't love a good bus stop? Because Hermione sure did.

It was pouring down the rain, it had been for hours. The precipitation had been pounding relentlessly upon the black plastic roof of the small bus shelter. Droplets trickled down the glass walls and made puddles on the sidewalk below. Thunder rolled in the background and lightning cracked through the black-clouded sky. The weather was a perfect reflection of her extremely crappy mood. Hermione sat, on one end of the rickety bench, Sirius on the other. Her arms were folded angrily across her chest, her mouth set in a firm line. She fixed her gaze on a lamp post across the street, not wanting to spark up a conversation with a certain aristocrat.

Moody had paired the Order members off, placing them at different locations. Of course, it was just her luck that she was partnered with Sirius, at a Muggle bus stop, none the less. Apparently, Moody was going all out on this whole 'let's do things the Muggle way' tirade. Between him and Arthur, she couldn't decide who was more obsessed with Muggle culture.

Anyways, they had been paired off and placed, and she was stuck. She was stuck with the bastard who constantly embarrassed her, teased her, and pushed all of her buttons. She was stuck with the man who had only just pleasures her immensely with a night full of mind blowing, front-door-shutting, butt-smacking good sex. All she wanted now, was to be left alone.

Sure, she had feelings for him. Well, not really feelings. No, 'feelings' is too deep a word. What she felt for him was complicated. On one hand, she couldn't stand him. The other hand, she could barely keep off him. It was messed up: no matter how many times he made her angry, she just couldn't stay mad at him. It was like he unknowingly used his chiseled good looks as a sort of 'Get Out of Jail Free' card. It was infuriating. _He _was infuriating.

Why did he have to be so...so...so attractive? He was always _always _charming. He knew how to make her feel beautiful and sexy and wonderful. He knew how to shoot her a knee-quivering smile whenever he knew he was in trouble. He always looked so dashing and suave, just with the way his hair fell and the way he left stubble on his chin and the way he always kept his teeth all perfectly white and minty fresh.

She snuck a glance over at Sirius and gulped. Yes, even now he looked positively delicious. Damn Moody for partnering them together. What was their mission, anyway?

She was interrupted from her thoughts when Sirius cleared his throat.

"We could at least make pleasant conversation." he said, looking at her pointedly. "Because this is unbearably boring."

"I'm sorry for not being able to _entertain _you, Mr. Black." she said coldly. He grinned.

"Oh, please do entertain me." he said, crossing his legs and placing his hands in his knees. She huffed and jerked her chin up in the air.

"For Merlin's sake, grow up, Sirius." she spat. He chuckled.

"Fine. If I promise to behave myself, can we play a game?" he asked, pouting at her. "This bloody bus is late, and there's nothing to do."

"No." Hermione said forcefully. "What's your obsession with playing games, anyways?"

"Please?"

"NO." she said again, rolling her eyes. He frowned.

"Why not? It doesn't even have to be a sexual game! I spy or _something._ Please, before I shrivel up and die of utter lack of nothing to do." he begged, his voice dripping with melodrama. She looked at him with her eyebrow raised.

"I'll you what, Black. There's a bar across the street with a really big window. If we go in, we can still watch to see when the bus get's here. Doesn't that sound better than a childish game?" she compromised. Sirius nodded, and stood up, stretching dramatically. She took off across the street, not bothering to wait for him until she got under the overhang above the door of the pub. He jogged over to her.

"Have you been here before?" he asked, rubbing his rain-soaked arms to keep warm. Hermione shook here head.

"Of course not." she scoffed. The moment she opened the door to the bar, a loud cheer erupted. The young bartender laughed loudly.

"Hermione, love! Long time no see, eh?" he joked, gesturing to the two empty bar stools in front of the counter. Hermione blushed furiously and Sirius bit back a smile. He leaned close and whispered in her ear.

"Never been here before." he said sarcastically, doing his best imitation of her. She elbowed him angrily in the side, and plopped down on one of the seats, with Sirius following suit. She smiled at the bartender, and leaned up on the counter.

"It's been a long time, Daniel, no doubt." she said, with a mischievous chuckle. Daniel waggled his brows at her.

"I know. Last time I saw you, 'Mione, you were in that little leather combo grinding up against one of our customers." he said with a wink. "Strobe lights look good on you, love." Hermione glanced at Sirius and blushed.

"Do you remember my usual as well?" she asked, nodding towards the bottles on the back wall.

"Oh, I could never forget, my dearest." the handsome Daniel said, pulling a tall glass from underneath the counter, filling it with a bright pink, bubbly liquid. Sirius cocked his head.

"What is it?" he asked, nodding at the glass in her hand. Hermione smirked.

"I have no idea. It tastes good though." she said, sipping her drink. Daniel nodded.

"It's my secret." he said with a wink. He turned to Sirius.

"What will you be having?" he asked. Sirius glanced at Hermione uncertainly, not familiar with Muggle liquor. Hermione shrugged.

"Uh, let's start him out with a beer." she said. Daniel filled a mug with the frothy amber liquid. Sirius frowned at the mug in his hand, but drank it anyway. Hermione laughed.

"You don't like?"

"It's terrible. Why don't they have any good hard fire whiskey?" he asked.

"Because, stupid, this is a Muggle bar." she said, finishing off her drink. Sirius wrinkled up his nose at his own drink. Hermione huffed.

"Well, since I'm buying, you aren't getting anything else. So buck up and down it." she said. Sirius scowled and tried to finish the beer. After a bit, Daniel walked back over to them, cleaning his hands off on a towel hanging from his belt.

"So, 'Mione, is this your boyfriend?" he asked good-naturedly.

"No." she said quickly. "Just a friend. We're actually waiting on the bus."

"Ah. That damn bus is never on time." Daniel commented excusing himself to help another customer. Sirius looked at her.

"A friend of yours?" he half-commented half-asked. Hermione shook her head.

"Ex-boyfriend actually. He's super sweet. We broke up, but stayed close friends." she explained, fiddling with the rim of her glass. Sirius cleared his throat.

"So, Hermione, about the entire hotel thing..."

"I don't want to talk about it." she said firmly. Sirius sighed.

"We have to talk about it eventually." he said. She glared at him.

"No." she said, closing the subject. He wrung his hands awkwardly. Hermione sat stiffly, looking at the counter as if the cracks in the wood were the most interesting things in the world. Daniel whistled loudly.

"'Mione, your bus is here." he called. Hermione looked out the window, and jumped up.

"Thanks. Hey, I'll stop by and visit sometime. Maybe we can do lunch." she said, giving her ex-man a warm peck on the cheek. He teasingly kissed her nose.

"Don't be such a stranger, yeah?"

"Promise." she said, heading out the door. Sirius followed her. They ran through the rain up to the bus. Hermione paid the driver, and the two made their way to the back of the bus.

"Where are we going exactly?" Hermione asked, forgetting about being angry with him and letting her curiosity get the better of her. Sirius shrugged.

"To be honest, I don't know. An auror is supposed to meet us when we get off."

"Merlin, Moody has been crazy secretive about this entire assignment." Hermione mumbled. Sirius chuckled.

"Well I think we have quite a ride ahead of us." he said, making himself as comfortable as possible in the plastic bus seat. Hermione sighed lazily.

"Then I'm going to sleep." she announced. Sirius paused for a moment before speaking.

"You can put your head on my shoulder if you want." he offered. Hermione stared at him.

"Sirius, I don't think that is such a good idea." she said.

"Don't worry. I won't turn it into anything more than a gesture of kindness." he assured her. Hermione frowned, but placed her head in the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes, trying only to concentrate on the masculine smell of his skin and the softness of his hair tickling her nose, and not the awkward position she was in. Right when she was on the verge of sleep, she felt a strong arm slip around her, and she sighed, snuggling into him. Sirius rested his head atop hers. She smiled and fell asleep.

And then...

_''I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it, sex in the air I don't care I love the smell of it..."_

Hermione's eyes shot open. She scrambled to dig in her purse, trying desperately to silence her phone. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it. Of course she couldn't. Because this always happened to her. Sirius gave a snort of laughter.

"_Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me."_

There. She pressed the right button, and the ringtone stopped it's continuous playing. Sirius was looking at her, amused beyond belief. Hermione scowled.

"Oh shut up." she snapped. She looked at her missed calls. "It was my sister."

"You have a sister? How did I not know that?"

"Everyone thinks I'm an only child, but Mum and Dad adopted Claire when she was seven. So, yeah. Technically, she is my sister." Hermione explained, dialing Claire's number. Sirius reached for the phone.

"I want to talk to her." he said. Hermione glared at him, smacking his hand away.

"No, Sirius, you don't get to- Hi, Claire!... Uh huh...Yeah, I'm busy...Now's really not a good time...no. I'm not with a guy... Can I just call you back? ...Yeah, I told you, I'm busy at the moment... Well, I'm on a bus...long story...Okay, I'll talk to you later...what?..." Hermione looked around and put her hand up to the phone, whispering into it, so that no one else could hear. "Uh...yeah. I'll bring the wigs...NO. Absolutely not. A topless moon-bounce is a very lame idea for a bachelorette party. No. Okay. I love you, bye." she finished, hanging up. She casually slipped the cellular device into her bag again, and looked at Sirius with a stern glare.

"Not one word." she mumbled. Sirius cleared his throat.

"Do whips and chains excite you, Hermione?" he asked, quietly, receiving a smack on the arm.

"Shut up. I'm going back to sleep." she mumbled, resting her head on the bus window, her breath leaving puffs of fog on the rain-covered glass. Sirius stole one last glance at her before pulling out a book from inside his coat.

They rode along in bumpy silence; the bus was practically empty, aside for a few others. Sirius closed his book with a sigh. To say he was bored would be an understatement. He turned to look at Hermione when she shifted suddenly. She was still asleep, but she was...mumbling something.

"Oooooooh."

"Uh, Hermione?" he asked awkwardly. She smiled in her slumber.

"Oh, _God_, Sirius." she groaned. Sirius gasped. Was she dreaming about him? She must be. He leaned in closer so that he could make out her exact words when she said...

"Damn, Sirius, right there. Yeah. Mmm."

Sirius nudged her a little bit, waking her up, but closing his own eyes, feigning sleep. Hermione sat up, rubbing her temples. What a great dream she had just had.

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><p><strong>Argh. I'm extremely sorry about the outrageously long wait for this chapter. I know I promised it last week, but I found out that my 96 year-old great grandmother was in the hospital (out of state), so, I've been gone, with no computer. There's my excuse. Haha(: <strong>

**Well, This chapter isn't my personal favorite. But, I have an idea for the next chapter, and I am super excited about it! **

**I hope you love.**

**KAY(:**


	5. Part the Fifth: Love In An Elevator

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Fifth**

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><p>Everybody loves to travel. There is just some strange joy associated with a nice long trip. The smell of an airport, the noises that a car makes as it chugs down the road, or maybe the fun of stopping at odd fast-food places along the way. And usually, most people enjoy the journey more than the destination. No matter what ritzy hotel you're staying in or what glamorous city you're heading towards, the best part of a trip is the commute.<p>

Well it is, if you know where you're going.

For the past few days, Hermione had been dragged all over the place on some mysterious Order mission, and she had no clue what the mission even was. And by doing everything Muggle-style, things were going slower than usual, and everyone was quite frustrated at the fact that they were gallivanting all over England with no idea of their purpose. The only person who knew was Moody, and he wasn't planning on telling his group about their assignment.

At the moment, Hermione was waiting in front of an elevator, waiting for the doors to open and take her to her hotel room. She frowned, and pushed the little triangular button again, her patience wearing thin. She huffed, and took a step aside, leaning against the wall. After a few more minutes, she heard a high-pitched _ding, _followed by the sound of the elevator's metal doors opening. She hurried into the lift, sighed as the doors closed in front of her.

A hand flashed in between the doors, reopening them. In stepped an extremely frazzled looking Sirius Black. She groaned, as he came to stand beside her, letting the doors finally close. He didn't speak until the lift began to pull up.

"Merlin, I'm about sick of this entire bloody thing." he mumbled. "Dammit, Moody, not even telling his own team about our mission. Crazy old man."

"I know, I know. It must not be very important." Hermione agreed, shifting her weight and looking at Sirius. He grinned as their gazes locked. She quickly looked at her feet. He chuckled and cleared his throat.

"Hermione,"

"If this is about the bus incident, I suggest you shut it." she warned, her brown eyes flashing. Sirius smirked.

"Alright fine, but-" Sirius was interrupted by an immensely loud crash. Hermione screamed, and Sirius threw his arm around her waist to steady her. The elevator jolted, and came to a halt. She looked around wildly, and Sirius exhaled deeply.

"What the hell was _that_?" he asked, eyes wide. Hermione shrugged, shaking her head as she did so.

"I don't know, but they usually have an emergency telephone in these things in case the elevator breaks down." she explained, reaching over to the metal panel on one of the walls, and unlatching a little box, revealing a bright orange phone. Sirius clapped.

"The brightest witch of her age never ceases to amaze me." he teased. Hermione turned around to stick her tongue out at him, and pressed the assistance button. She held the receiver to her ear, and waited for someone on the other end to pick up. After about a minute of beeping, she heard a crisp female voice on the other end.

"Hello, emergency hotline, this is Veronica, how may I help you today?"

"Actually, my friend and I are stuck in an elevator in your hotel, and we can't get out. It kind of just stopped."

"I see. Are you or your friend injured?"

"No, miss."

"Alright, we'll have a mechanic start up the elevators shortly." Veronica said, hanging up the phone before Hermione could say any more. She rolled her eyes and hung up the phone. Sirius looked at her eagerly.

"Ho long until it's fixed?" he asked. Hermione stood up, and put her hands on her hips.

"I dunno. The lady said 'shortly', but that could mean anything."

"So, I guess we're stuck." Sirius said thoughtfully. Hermione nodded.

"I guess we are."

"We could-"

"So help me, Sirius, if you suggest that we play a game or have sex, I will castrate you with the tip of my wand." she snapped. He put his hands up defensively.

"Merlin, witch, I was only going to suggest that we sit down." he said, taking a seat on the floor. She sighed and sat beside him. They sat there for a while in silence, Sirius humming quietly, and Hermione picking at her fingernails. Suddenly a loud alarm began to go off. Sirius jumped up, and helped Hermione to her feet. Hermione began to panic.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked her.

"It's the fire alarm! There's a bloody fire, and we're stuck in an elevator! Do you know what this means?" she screamed frantically above the noise. Sirius shook his head. "It means we're going to die! We're going to be burnt to a crisp!"

"Calm down, 'Mione, love, it's gonna be fine." he said, trying to keep his breathing even. Hermione started pounding on the door and screaming hysterically.

"Hermione! Calm down!" Sirius bellowed. Hermione spun around.

"You don't understand!" she shrieked, beginning to pound on the door again. "I have taphephobia!"

"What the hell is that?"

"The fear of being burned alive!" she said, starting to cry. Oh pulled her close, trying to stop her from shaking. The elevator began to shudder violently, and he cursed under his breath as she resorted to screaming louder and louder.

"Hermione," he said, looking at her seriously. "If I die today, this is the last thing that I want to do." He kissed her passionately, his tongue darting past her lips and finding hers, entwining it with his own. She moaned into his mouth, and threw her arms around his neck, and pushing him back into the wall. Sirius growled and picked her up, causing her to put her legs around his waist. She tangled her fingers into his black locks as his hands ran down her torso, stopping to pay special attention to her breasts. He thumbed the soft perky mounds and shivered as her hips began to jerk against his.

He moved his lips down her neck, nuzzling and licking, relishing in her breathy moans, just audible above the fire alarm. When his head came back up to kiss her lips, she snarled, and ripped off his shirt, her little finger's making their way to undo his belt. Soon, off came the pants, and a few moments later, he was buried inside of her soft folds. He sped up his thrusts, her hips meeting his in absolute bliss. Neither of them heard the alarm stop or the elevator doors open as she arched into him, her body shuddering in the aftershock of fantastic sex. Somebody cleared their throat, and Hermione and Sirius pulled apart. The mechanic stood awkwardly outside the door, a blushed creeping up his neck. Hermione's eyes grew wide, and she untangled herself from Sirius, pulling her pants back up her legs, Sirius quickly replaced his boxers, and scratched the back of his head.

"Uh, the elevator's fixed." the fix-it man said, looking at his feet. Hermione nodded curtly. and wasted no time in running out of the elevator and back to her room.

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><p><strong>Well, apologies about the late update. I just got back from a church trip, and I haven't had the time to get this up. I hope you love, love, love. <strong>

**To be honest, I have no idea just how long of a story this is going to be. As you may already know, this began as a one-shot, so that could explain something. I guess it'll keep going until I run out of ideas. **

**Thanks for reading! I'll try an start the next chapter soon!**

**KAY(:**

**P.S. Review, review, review for the cure for cancer! It's for the children.**


	6. Part the Sixth: Rocky Horror Potter Show

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Sixth:**

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, first off, I apologize for taking absolutely forever to update. I've been pretty busy, and haven't had any time at all. Second, I apologize for wasting time at the beginning of the story to distract you with my lame-o Author's Note.**

**And thanks so much for the lovely reviews and alerts! They really make my day. Actually, I was looking at my profile, and I got down to my stories, and I was like "Whoa, there's like 58 reviews!" That's what prompted me to update! Thanks!**

**Well, let me just say, this chapter is going to be sort of different. For starters, who has seen the movie, 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'? If you haven't, then this installment probably won't make any sense to you. If you haven't seen that movie, and you watch Glee, then last Halloween, you probably saw 'The Rocky Horror Glee Show'. In that case, you have a vague idea of the story-line, and have heard the songs. What I'm trying to say is, it's one of my favorite movies, and while watching it, I got an idea. So if you have no idea what movie, or episode of Glee I'm talking about, then you'll be totally lost. Oh, I think it's a Broadway show, too, 'The Rocky Horror Show.' Yeah.**

**Again, sorry for the long A/N, I just wanted to let people know what to expect before you start reading.**

**So, with that, enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Are We There Yet?<strong>

**Part The Sixth:**

* * *

><p>There was nothing to watch.<p>

Hermione, being the anti-social person she was, was once again taking advantage of the fact that everyone was gone. Ginny was enjoying the pool, and Harry, Ron, Sirius were fooling around outside with a Muggle football, and everyone else was in an Order Meeting. Hermione had graciously declined Ginny's invitation to spend the morning laying out by the pool, and decided, instead, to kick back and watch television.

Mainly to avoid a certain black-haired aristocrat.

Hermione was sitting cross-legged on the bed, picking absentmindedly at the green and blue bedspread with her right hand. She held the black television remote in her left hand, turning through the channels again and again. The electrical buzz of the t.v. echoed through the hotel room, and the light from the screen gave her face an eerie look. Giving up, she left the t.v. on a random channel, frustrated at the flood of commercials.

She groaned loudly and fell back into the mattress.

She sat up as the commercials finally ended, and the program came back on. A smile appeared on her face as she recognized the movie that was on.

_Let's do the Time-Warp again!_

Hermione laughed to herself, and began to hum along to the catchy tune.

_Put your hands on your hips! And bring your knees in tight! Then do the pelvic thrust, it really drives you insane! Let's do the Time-Warp again! _

Hermione jumped as she felt somebody plop down on the bed beside her. She turned only to be greeted by the unwanted sight of a grinning Sirius Black. She glared at him.

"What do you want?" she snapped, staring fixedly at the television in front of her. Sirius chuckled.

"Relax, I was getting bored outside, so I came in to see what you were up to." he said, putting his hands up defensively. "What's that?" he asked, nodding at the t.v. Hermione frowned.

"It's called 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.'" she explained, tilting her head at the screen. Sirius didn't speak until the 'Sweet Transvestite' scene began to play. Hermione snuck a glance at Sirius as Dr. Frank-n-Furter pulled off the silk black cape, revealing his crazy outfit. She couldn't help the giggle at the disgusted look on Sirius' face.

"This is...odd." he commented. Hermione shrugged.

"It's a classic." she said simply. Sirius looked at he strangely.

"You're telling me that you _like _this movie?"

"Well," Hermione said hesitantly. "Yeah, I mean, it's a really great movie. Plus, it's also kind of sexy."

"You're full of surprises, Hermione." Sirius said, shaking his head, and returning his focus back to the movie. They sat in silence, as Frank introduced his creation, Rocky, to his 'unconventional conventionalists'. Sirius actually looked like he was enjoying the movie, until Frank began to hack into Eddie with an ice-pick. Hermione shuddered.

"Yeah, that part always freaked me out." she mumbled. Sirius crossed his legs.

"So you think this is sexy?" he asked, trying to be casual. Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"Why does that concern you?" she snapped. Sirius smirked.

"It doesn't. But, it fascinates me." he said, folding his hands on his knee. "I want to know what makes you tick, Hermione. What makes you come...undone."

"Stop." Hermione whispered, a blush creeping up her neck at the husky tone of his voice. Again, they sat in silence until Janet began to seduce Rocky with the song 'Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me.' Hermione gulped. Sirius looked at her with interest.

"Ah, so _this _is what does it for you, isn't it?" he commented, a sly expression on his face. Hermione turned scarlet.

"Shut up, Sirius."

"Really, love, you should be used to this enough not to be embarrassed any more."

"Get out." Hermione whispered. Sirius shook his head.

"You act like you hate me, but, darling, I know that deep _deep _down inside you, you want me as much as I want you." he said. Hermione spun her head around to meet his dark gaze. She involuntarily shivered.

"Sirius, quit cornering me. Everywhere I turn, you're there, trying to get in my knickers. Just, stop."

"My dearest Hermione, you don't understand. I can't get enough of you. Sex with you, is better than sex with anyone else." he said, defensively. Hermione snorted, and flipped the television off.

"Listen," she sighed. "Yeah, we have had moments of fantastic sex. But what you feel for me, and what I feel for you, is simply lust, nothing more."

"Wait, did you just say, you felt something for me?" Sirius asked, his eyes growing about twice their normal size, and a cheeky grin sliding across his face. Hermione blanched.

"What? No!" she said quickly.

"No, don't you even deny it, pet. Hermione Jean Granger _lusts _for me." he teased, not cruelly, or seductively. She growled at him.

"Out." she said simply, pushing him towards the door. Sirius laughed.

"We didn't even finish the movie!" he protested. Hermione looked up at him.

"I don't care. Now leave." She opened the door, and made to shove him out of the room, but he planted his feet firmly on the ground.

"Wait! Just one more thing!" he said, clearly hiding a smile. Hermione quit pushing him, and put her hands on her hips, waiting. "Don't lust to hard for me." Hermione rolled her eyes, and successfully got him outside the door, slamming it in his face.

"Good_bye_, Sirius."

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed! I know It's kind of short, but I'll seriously <em>try <em>to start on the next chapter! **

**KAY(:**


	7. Part the Seventh: A Kid in a Candystore

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Seventh:**

* * *

><p>Maybe Moody wasn't so bad after all.<p>

He had given them a day off. No meetings. No assignments. Just a day off.

Anyways, Ginny had given Hermione one of those dreaded girl-eye-signals, and had practically screamed, 'We're going shopping if you like it or not.' with her big blues. The minute that everyone had dispersed, Ginny had dragged an unenthusiastic Hermione back up to their room, babbling madly about how much fun they were going to have.

And now, she was being forced to walk the streets of the little village which they were in, gazing at shop windows with a bored expression, browsing in little boutiques and huffing impatiently while her best girl-friend squealed over shoes and bracelets and beaded handbags.

"Isn't this just the greatest?" Ginny asked happily, as she tried to balance her bazillion shopping bags without dropping them. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"It's just wonderful." she replied blandly. Ginny stopped walking, and gave her friend a pointed look of irritation.

"You can be as glum as you want, Herms, my dear, but I'm going to enjoy myself, so don't you dare spoil my day." the red-head said angrily. Hermione smiled tiredly.

"Gin, you know shopping just isn't my thing."

"I know, I know, but I bought some stuff that you would look really adorable in. We're about the same size right?" Ginny asked, a sparkle lighting up her eyes as she listed all of her purchases. They started walking again. After a going into a few more shops, Hermione had two bags in all, and Ginny had 18. Finally, an exhausted Hermione sat her bum down on a bench on the sidewalk.

"I'm sorry, Ginny. I gotta sit down. My feet are _killing _me."

"No problem. Let's take a break." Ginny agreed. Hermione slipped her flats off, revealing two bright, red blisters on the back of each one of her feet. Ginny gasped in concern.

"Oh, honey, you can't walk with those blisters." she said shaking here head. "Here. I bought some shoes in that last store, see if they're a little bit better."

"I don't want to mess up your new shoes." Hermione said, biting her lip as she watched her friend digging in a paper shopping bag, pulling out a shoe box. Ginny nodded triumphantly.

"Nonsense. After all the times you've saved Harry's life, I think I owe you one." Ginny joked, handing Hermione the box. Inside, nestled in crisp, pink tissue paper, lay a pair of lovely, golden-brown sandals. Even Hermione had to appreciate the simple beauty of these shoes. And thankfully, they were backless. Hermione slipped them on, wiggling her toes into the cushy padding in the shoes. Ginny grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Oh my _goodness,_ Ginny. These are fantastic!" Hermione said, beaming. Ginny nodded.

"And they match your outfit." she commented. Hermione looked down and saw that Ginny was, indeed, right. The sandals went perfectly with the simple white sundress that she was wearing. Suddenly, an evil grin spread over Ginny's mouth."And I bet Sirius'll think you look positively _delicious_ today."

"What?" Hermione asked, her voice rising in pitch. Ginny laughed.

"Come on, sweetie, everyone knows about you and Sirius!"

"I don't know what you mean." Hermione replied, aloofly. Ginny smacked her friend's arm playfully.

"Come off it! You and Sirius are having a fling! It's totally obvious."

"Again, I have no clue what you're talking about, Ginny."

"You're trying to _deny _it?" Ginny laughed in disbelief. Hermione shrugged.

"What's to deny?"

"You two had sex! He's totally into you! He's always flirting with you, and, 'Mione, you kind of flirt back."Ginny said, smirking. Hermione stood up, and gathered her things.

"Just come on." she said, her irritated look replaced by a small smile. Ginny gasped.

"I _knew _it!" she squealed. They didn't get much farther down the street, when they bumped into Harry, Ron, and Sirius. Ginny kissed her boyfriend, and immediately transferred the heavy shopping bags from her arm to his. Ron rolled his eyes. Hermione eyed Sirius shyly. Sirius smirked.

"We were just going to the candy store. Interested?" he asked the girls. Ginny and Hermione looked at each other and shrugged.

"Yeah, sure. I'm in the mood for a caramel apple, anyways." Ginny said, grabbing Harry's hand through the bags and began walking. Trailed behind, striking Harry up in a conversation about Quidditch. Sirius winked at Hermione, and held out his hand.

"I guess leaves just the two of us." he said, chuckled. Hermione rolled her eyes, but, much to Sirius' surprise, took his outstretched hand, nonetheless. Ginny glanced back at her, and noting their entwined hands, gave her a thumbs up. They strolled down the little country-town streets, until they reached the open French doors of the Muggle confectionary. The smell of fresh fudge, spun sugar, and toffee wafted outside from the sweet shop. Ron stopped in the doorway, his face slack in a mixture of utter disbelief and wonder at the sight of so much unusual candy. Hermione lightly shoved him over the threshold with a grin. Immediately, Sirius left her side to ogle at Muggle candy bars with his godson. Hermione chuckled to herself, and went to admire the fresh slabs of fudge, caramel apples, and assorted truffles with Ginny.

Suddenly, Harry ran over to her, beaming. He held out a brown paper bag, obviously telling her to take it. Slowly, Hermione peeked inside, smiling as she saw the handfuls of gourmet lollipops. Harry nodded.

"I know how much you love lollipops, 'Mione." he said. Hermione hugged him in thanks, reaching into the bag, she pulled out a lollipop, and began to unwrap it. Sirius walked up behind Harry, his eyes growing wide when he saw the candy in her hands.

"A lollipop?" he asked, his voice hoarse and his face suddenly white. Hermione frowned.

"Harry bought them for me."

"How nice." he commented, his words thick with irritation. Hermione raised her eyebrows, and made to stick the lollipop in her mouth, but was stopped by a quick hand. Sirius plucked the candy from her fingers.

"What the hell?" she asked, snatching it back. Sirius shrugged, clearly uncomfortable.

"Don't eat all that candy now, we're about to have lunch!" he spluttered, not very believably. Hermione gaped at him.

"I just wanted one!"

"Fine, ruin your appetite, then." he scoffed, walking away. He made his way to the men's loo, splashing cold water on his face and on the back of his neck. He groaned. Just the mere thought of that round, red lollipop between her plump pink lips got him shaking. Soon, his imagination went wild with images of the witch on her knees in front of him. He felt himself grow immediately hard. He _had _to get himself together before he went back out there. It was just a damn lollipop; it wasn't going to hurt anyone, and he sure as hell wasn't about to let a mere piece of candy phase him. Suddenly refreshed, he walked back into the store, but stopped short when he saw that his suspicions were true: Hermione Granger was a 'Sexy Lollipop Eater'.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

She swirled her tongue effortlessly around the ball of candy at the top of the stick. Every so often, she would remove the candy from her mouth, leaving a stain of red on her mouth. The lollipop was shiny from her spit, her tongue was bright crimson, and Sirius was growing harder and harder still. And for Merlin's sake, it was such a turn on. He must have been staring, because she looked at him oddly. He turned around, and pretended to be interested in the shelf of Muggle jelly beans. Hermione gasped, and reached over his shoulder, plucking another piece of candy from the shelf. It resembled a lollipop, only the sucker part was a thick log of caramel. Sirius smacked it out of her hands, and watched as it tumbled to the floor.

"You can't have that." he said quickly. Hermione glared at him, and simply plucked another one off the shelf. Sirius winced.

"What in the world is your problem, Sirius?" she asked. He frowned.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Okay, then." she said, eyeing him suspiciously, and pulling another lollipop from her bag. Sirius watched as she un-twirled the plastic from the candy, bringing it to her lips. He couldn't help himself. He grabbed it and flung it out the open shop door. Hermione gasped angrily, and went for another lolly. Sirius chucked that one, too, and the next, and the next. Hermione shrieked in frustration.

"You owe me like ten lollipops, Sirius." she spat. Sirius sighed. Hermione shook her head. "What do you have against lollipops, anyways?"

"I don't have anything against lollipops."

"Yeah, apparently you do."

"Do not. I just, like I said, you can't ruin your appetite."

"You're an idiot." she said, turning from him. He grabbed her shoulder.

"It's just, well to be honest, I don't like to watch that pretty little mouth of yours going to waste on a blasted lollipop, when it could be used for bigger, better things."

"Oh." was all that Hermione could say, her eyes widening in understanding. They watched each other awkwardly. Sirius sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Sorry. That was uncalled for." he said, turning to walk away. He was stopped, however, when Hermione grabbed hold of his sleeve.

"But, Sirius, I-I _want _to use my mouth for bigger and better things." she said so quietly that he almost didn't hear. He felt his heart begin to pound loudly in his chest. After observing one another for a minute longer, he growled and picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder, and running out the front door of the shop as fast as he possibly could. Harry and Ron watched them with a strange look on their faces. Ginny keeled over with laughter.

"What's up with those two?" Ron asked, looking at Ginny, who was wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. Harry, on the other hand looked like he was about to be sick.

"So they're, Hermione and Sirius, I mean, like together?" he asked, grimacing. Ginny grinned.

"Nah, not together." she said, patting her boyfriend on the back comfortingly. Harry exhaled. Ginny smirked, and leaned close. "They're just..." she paused, smiling evilly, "Lovers." Immediately, Harry and Ron began gagging and spluttering, and Ginny fell into another round of uncontrollable laughter.

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><p><strong>AN: So aren't you proud of me for updating faster this time? Personally, I adore this chapter, because it was inspired by the song "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne ft. Static Major. Yeah, yeah, it's an old song, go ahead, make fun of my limited musical library. But still. (; The other reason this got up so fast was that I already had this written and couldn't wait to put it up. You can pick which reason you like the best.**

**Sorry to all of you lovelies out there who I promised smut to. I swear, there will be a bit of smut in the next chapter. Because I, too, anticipate smut between characters. Yeah, I'm a horn-ball. But, hell, if you're reading any 'M' rated romance stories, you're most likely a horn-ball as well. We need our own support group.**

**Speaking of all of you lovelies...Thanks for the amazing reviews and alerts! This is totally cliche, but my reviewers are the main reason I've kept this story up. That, and my sick little mind. You guys are the best. (: Let me just say, I absolutely LOVE writing this story; it is one of my favorites by far. I appreciate you guys.**

**I also just realised, I live in America. Harry Potter lives across the pond. This story is probably totally innacurate when it comes to all of the technical British stuff, simply because I've never been to the UK, and I have no idea if stuff in Britain is way different than it is over here. I'd like to brag and say that I'm one of those awesome authors who researches their facts like crazy, but sadly, I'm not, so I can't say that this is very well researched. If any of my fabulous readers are from the UK, feel free to point out anything wrong with the British customs, since I'm doing stuff 'Muggle-style'.**

**Well anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I need to stop with the long Author's Notes.**

**Thanks!**

**KAY(:**


	8. Part The Eighth 1: I'm Lovin' It I

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Eighth:**

**~1~**

* * *

><p>"I'm hungry." Ron whined. The whole group turned around to glare at him.<p>

"Do shut up." Ginny spat. Ron stuck his tongue out at her. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"That's real mature Ronald."

"Would all of you shut it?" Sirius asked, angrily. "Ron, we know. You're hungry. Ginny, pet, don't talk. And Hermione, darling, just...don't be such a swot."

"Why don't we all shut our mouths and go get something to eat." Remus suggested, playing peacemaker. Ron nodded heartily, and everyone else simply shrugged.

They had all been stuck in their hotel, with nothing to do, for the entire day. The older members had been in Order Meetings for most of the time, leaving the kids in a hotel room with some snacks, which Ron had kindly devoured. Being cramped up in a tiny room for a series of hours, could make a person quite grumpy, especially when cramped up with three other people. Everyone was irritable.

Remus held the door open so that everybody could file out. They all descended the stairs eagerly, and piled into the Ministry car. Remus was driving, with Sirius in the passengers side, Harry and Ron in the back, and Hermione and Ginny facing them. They were all silent, except for the occasional growl of Ronald's stomach.

"Where is there to eat?" Remus asked. Everybody naturally looked at Hermione and Harry, as they were the only two people experienced with Muggle eatery. The two friend's looked at each other.

"Uh, fast food." Harry pondered aloud. Hermione nodded. They looked out the windows, and scanned the area as they drove along, and both nearly leapt out of their seats as they saw the Golden Arches.

"McDonald's!" they both said. Remus nodded and turned into the parking lot. They all climbed out of the car, and entered the restaurant. Sirius wrinkled up his nose when he noted the nasty tile floors, dirty, ketchup-smeared tables, and the flies buzzing sadly around the windows.

"What the hell?" he asked, grimacing. Harry patted his godfather on the back.

"The food's bloody fantastic." he said, walking up to the counter and placing an order. Ron, Remus, and Ginny followed, and allowed Harry to order for them. Sirius turned to Hermione with an unsure expression.

"Just come on." she said, laughing, and dragging him to the counter. A University-age, gum-smacking girl was working the counter.

"Welcome to McDonald's." she said blandly, picking at her nails. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, a Big Mac with a medium fry and a large Coke," Hermione said, looking up at the menu to try and find something for Sirius. She chuckled evilly to herself. "And a six- piece Happy Meal with a Coke and Apple Dippers instead of fries."

"For a girl or boy?"

"Boy, please." Hermione said, with a finishing nod. The girl nodded, and rung up the order.

"Five even." she said. Hermione handed her the money, and the two waited for their food. Sirius shifted uncomfortably as a small, screaming child ran around him, waving a chicken nugget in his hand. Hermione bit back a grin. When her name was called, she grabbed her bag of food from the tray, and handed Sirius his Happy Meal box. She remained stoic as he looked at her oddly. She filled up their cups with Coke, and went to sit down. The other's were already sitting at a booth, so Hermione led Sirius over to a tall table for two. Sirius perched himself awkwardly on a the swivel chair, and opened his box.

"'Mione, there's a toy in here."

"Mm hm." she said, unwrapping her burger. Sirius frowned at the toy car, but started to open it. Hermione smacked the toy from his hands.

"What?" he asked.

"No toy until you eat your food." she said. Sirius rolled his eyes and dove into the box again, this time coming out with his pack of Apple Dippers. He dumped the apples out onto a napkin, but pocketed the caramel. Hermione tilted her head at him. He smirked.

"Saving it for later." he said with a wink. She blushed and went back to eating her burger. Sirius munched on his Apples and sipped his Coke happily.

"This is good." he said, nodding. Hermione noticed how cute he was when his mouth was full of food. Just then, Harry walked past their table on his way to grab a refill. He stopped short, and looked at Sirius.

"A Happy Meal?" he snorted. Hermione burst out laughing. Sirius frowned.

"What's a Happy Meal?"

"It's for little kids!" Harry explained between fits of laughter. "Do you like your toy?" Sirius growled and threw the offending car at his godson. Harry exhaled.

"Okay, okay. Sorry." he said, winking at Hermione, and handing the toy back to Sirius.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. It was just way too tempting." she explained. Sirius scowled at her.

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><p><strong>Here we are! Another chapter! I'm sorry it took so long, but school started, (First year of high school, baby!) and I've been incredibly busy. I had to write a speech for Speech Class about meat. Yeah. That's how busy I've been. Haha(:<strong>

**Here's the deal: The little number '1' at the beginning of this story stands for the first half of 'Part the Eighth'. Why? Because I'm not quite done with the McDonald's theme yet. You know that smut I've been promising? Well it's coming...no pun intended. **

**This chapter is, for lack of better wording, very lame. But I promise with all that's in me that you'll love the next part of 'Part the Eighth'. For real.**

**Well, I hope you love! I really will update soon. Or I'll try to anyways. Thanks by the way for all of the great reviews! I love them!**

**KAY(:**


	9. Part the Eighth 2: I'm Lovin' It II

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Eighth**

**2**

* * *

><p>Sirius continued to glower at Hermione, who was still chuckling about the 'Happy Meal Incident'.<p>

It didn't help that he had opened the toy car and started to play with it.

Ron was in absolute awe of the drink dispensers and had been warned over and over again by the McDonald's manager not to waste the soda. (Ronald had filled cup after cup full of Coke.)

Ginny had retreated to a secluded corner booth with Harry, and the two were currently glued together.

Remus, the most mature of the entire group, sat, picking at his carton of fries. Ron plopped down across from him, looking angry.

"Bloody manager. Bloody Muggle food place. 'If you don't stop getting drinks and pouring them out, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.' Yeah? Well...fine. I hate this place." he mumbled. Remus bit back a smile. He beckoned Hermione over.

"'Mione, my dear, why don't you take Ron to the playground to cheer him up?" he suggested with a wink. Hermione grinned, and grabbed Ron's hand, leading him into the children's play area. Sirius jumped up and started to follow, only to be stopped by Remus. Sirius sat down with his friend, his smile fading as he saw the serious expression on the other's face.

"What's bothering you, Moony?" he asked. Remus hesitated, avoiding Sirius' concerned gaze. Finally, he cleared his throat and began.

"Do you really want to know what's bothering me?" Remus asked, running a hand through his hair. "You. Hermione. Whatever you have going on with that precious girl, you need to think it over before you do something stupid, mate. She's young, inexperienced, and vulnerable. She's not ready for a relationship with a boy her age, none the less you."

"What are you trying to say?" Sirius asked, his eyes narrowing. Remus exhaled slowly.

"Look, Sirius, we've been friends for a really long time. And I think it's great that you're happy and all, but she's just not on your level of maturity when it comes to these things."

"For your information, she wasn't a virgin when I took her." Sirius snapped angrily. Remus' eyebrows skyrocketed to the ceiling.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. So don't you dare accuse me of anything."

"I'm not accusing, my friend. I'm simply warning. We all care about her, very much. The same with you. I'm only saying that if this blows up in your faces, that no one's going to be sympathetic."

"Is that everyone talking, or just you?" Sirius asked, coldly. Remus' jaw tightened.

"Everyone. Harry in particular. This is absolutely killing him, his godfather with his best friend."

"I know, I know. And believe me, I care enough about Hermione to know to tread lightly with her. I want you and everyone else to know, I haven't forced her into anything. She's been completely consenting."

"Well, just know that I'm going to support you with this, because we've been friends for a very long time now," Remus said, breathing deeply. "Unless, you hurt her."

"I would never do anything to that precious girl." Sirius said, nodding. Remus grinned up at his friend.

"And may I say, score for you." the werewolf said with an encouraging wink. Sirius laughed, and made his way into the play area to be with his sweet Hermione.

He plopped on down beside his lover on a bench, and bit back a bark of laughter as he watched Ron play alone on the giant green slides, whooping and hollering.

"Is it me? Or is our favorite ginger having a bit too much fun?" he asked, wrapping an arm around his girl. Hermione buried her face in his shoulder.

"Leave the poor guy alone, Sirius. He's having fun." she said, smirking. Sirius leaned close, and whispered into her ear.

"How about you and me have a bit of fun, yeah?"

"Sirius, we're out in public."

"Kinky, right?"

"No! It's tacky and inappropriate!" Hermione chided. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Darling, if being with you wasn't just a little tacky and inappropriate, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Lovely, Sirius, just lovely." she said scathingly. "What are you waiting for?"

"Pardon?"

"What are you waiting for? Usually by now, we're engaged in an extremely spontaneous shag." she said simply. Sirius smirked and crossed his legs.

"Alright. Hermione, would you like to engage in an extremely spontaneous shag?" he asked.

"No."

"Why not?" he huffed. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"I'm tired."

"What a load of rubbish." Sirius scoffed. Hermione winked at him.

"I'm just kidding." she said, jumping up and grabbing his hand, dragging him over to the play structure. He chuckled.

"Where _are _you taking me?" he asked, amusement clear in his tone. Hermione simply pulled him along, shoving him into the entrance of the plastic structure and leading him up the steps. He followed her until they reached the top of the playground. she crawled into the opening of a big green slide, grinning at him mischievously. His eyes widened, and he instantly closed the space between them, his lips claiming hers, their tongues dancing wildly. He made quick work of her shirt, tossing it aside, never taking his lips off hers. She moaned into his mouth as his hands found her breasts. Her bra soon followed her shirt, and she gasped as she felt something sticky run down her torso. Her eyes snapped open, and she was greeted with Sirius' wicked smile as he drizzled the caramel from his Apple Dippers over her breasts and stomach. He began to lap up the caramel with teasing strokes of his tongue, his mouth finding it's way lower and lower down her body. She was suddenly aware of her kickers being pulled past her skirt, which had ridden up around her waist, and was soon writhing around, due to the fact that his skillful tongue was teasing her clit with gentle nips and licks. Her hips jerked wildly and involuntarily, and she suddenly pulled his head up by his hair. He looked at her, panting heavily. She gave him a heated look.

"Get inside." she hissed. He complied. She screamed and gasped and groaned, and so did he. He grunted her name as he felt her walls tighten and her body shudder. He soon followed with one final thrust. The two lovers lay there for a moment, breathing hard, shimmering with sweat, and caramel, bathing in the afterglow. Hermione was the first to sit up, putting her clothes back on, and pulling her hair up. Sirius did the same. She looked at him.

"That was great."

"I know."

"You're full of it." she said, swatting him, and sliding down the slide. Sirius laughed and followed. As they reached the bottom, they came face to face with a disgusted Ronald Weasly.

"Could you two seriously not find somewhere else to screw? Honestly, you just bloody ruined my entire day." he said, shaking his head. Hermione rolled her eyes but blushed all the same. Sirius shrugged, and the three walked back out into the restaurant. Remus stood up, rubbing his hands together.

"We ready to go?" he asked. Everyone nodded. Ginny shot Hermione a knowing wink as she walked by. Hermione grinned, and hung behind the rest of the group to walk with Harry, who slung his arm around her shoulders in a brotherly fashion. They made it out the door, when he leaned over, sniffing her hair.

"'Mione," he said, sniffing her again. "You smell like caramel." Hermione's jaw dropped. She burst out laughing and pranced ahead of him, catching up to Sirius, and grabbing his hand. She turned around and winked at Harry, as a look of realization came across his face.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Here! Here it is. Another chapter. I must apologize for the poorly written smut. But you guys wanted it(:**

**Okay, so like three days ago I was working on this chapter. And I was writing the Author's Note, so I was almost done, and I was getting all happy that I had a new chapter, when Safari just crashes, and I lost my work. In my near homicidal rage, I slammed my laptop shut, and didn't want to even look at the damn thing until I had calmed down. I was sort of mad. So today, I sat down and retyped the entire thing. So you guys better love it dearly. **

**I have ideas! I have a butt-load of 'em, just waiting to be typed up. So, be prepared for more soon!**

**I love the reviews and alerts! They make my day!**

**KAY(:**


	10. Part the Ninth: Asparagus

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Ninth:**

* * *

><p>"Dammit!"<p>

Sirius, Remus, and Harry looked up from their chess game when they heard Hermione shriek from the bathroom.

"Everything okay in there?" Sirius asked, grinning to the others. Hermione's head popped out of the lavatory, her face blotched with utter rage.

"Does _this _look okay?" she spat, pulling the towel off of the top of her head, revealing a scalp-full of sea-green, wildly bushy hair. Remus, Sirius, and Harry gasped.

"What the hell happened?" Remus asked, hesitantly. Hermione plopped down on the bed where her three friends were sitting. She heaved a giant sigh and put her head in her hands.

"I was trying to die my hair blonde."

"Why?" Sirius asked, curiously, quite enjoying the image of a blonde Hermione. She looked at him.

"Because. Moody said I should change my appearance for this mission. So I was trying to. And now my hair is _green._ That's like the worst color ever."

"Green's a lovely color, 'Mione." Harry said kindly, patting her back lightly. Hermione glared at him.

"No. No it isn't."

"Sure it is, love." Sirius said, putting a hand on her knee. "There's lots of great things in the world that happen to be green."

"Yeah? Like what?" she asked coldly. The three men looked at each other. Harry glanced nervously at Hermione.

"Uh, trees are green. People love trees." he said slowly. Hermione seemed to ponder this. Sirius nodded over-enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Trees! And key lime pie. No one doesn't like key lime pie." he agreed. Hermione looked at Remus expectantly.

"Well, there's always asparagus." he offered. Hermione, a sad look on her face.

"Oh my goodness." she said, shaking her head, and walking back into the bathroom, slamming the door. Sirius looked at his friend scathingly.

"Really, Moony? Asparagus? Out of all of the green things in the world, you had to say asparagus? No one _likes_ asparagus!"

"I like asparagus!" Remus said, defensively. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Remus, you should learn to be more tactful." he said, nodding. Remus gaped at his two comrades.

"Wha-fine. Should I go apologize? he asked, shrugging. Sirius grinned.

"Yes. What are you going to say?"

"'Hermione, I'm sorry that I compared your new hair to asparagus.'?" Harry asked, imitating his ex-professor. Sirius laughed at the distressed look on Remus' face.

"Don't worry, mate. Just apologize, and everything'll be fine."

"But...she has such a bad temper." Remus mumbled. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Her hair's just turned green. Wouldn't you be in a bad temper?"

"Fine." Remus said, dragging himself off of the bed. Right when he was about to open the bathroom door, Hermione stepped out, her green hair flowing down her back. She smiled wryly at the werewolf.

"Don't even apologize." she said, kissing his cheek. He looked pleased with himself. Harry fingered a lock of her new hair thoughtfully.

"You're okay with green hair?" he asked. Hermione sighed.

"No. But I can't really do anything about it. It's the muggle stuff, and it said you had to wait a certain amount of time before dying over it, or taking the color out."

"Well, quite personally, it's growing on me." Sirius said, winking at her. She grinned.

"That means _so _much." she said sarcastically. He stuck his tongue out at her. Remus watched the two with a twinkle in his eye. He looked over at Harry, who looked like he was about to vomit.

"So, Harry, did you sleep well last night?" Remus asked casually.

"Yeah...why?" he answered, suspicious. Remus smirked, and nodded over towards Hermione and Sirius.

"Oh, no reason. I just kept hearing things that go bump in the night." he said. Hermione looked at him, horrified, her face scarlet. Sirius on the other hand, looked at his lover with smoldering passion.

"Sorry, mates. couldn't resist her." he said. Hermione glared at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sirius. Or you, Remus."

"What?" Sirius asked, laughing at her unbelievingly.

"We heard you two, Hermione." Remus added. Hermione simply shook her head.

"No."

"You're _denying _it?" Sirius asked, hurt. Harry frowned.

"Come on, 'Mione. Everyone already knows that you and Sirius tend to wind up having sex." he said, disgusted. Hermione looked at her feet.

"It it _that _obvious?" she asked quietly.

"Yes!" Harry and Remus chorused.

"We hear you!" Moony said.

"We see you." Harry mumbled.

"Heard us?" Hermione asked. Remus smirked at Sirius.

"Well, when one hears the words, 'Christ, 'Mione, you're so wet.', and 'Oh, Jesus, Sirius, I need you.', you kind of put two and two together." he said, clearing his throat. Sirius laughed loudly. Hermione looked mortified.

"But-bu-I didn't think we were that loud." she whispered, immediately slapping a hand over her mouth. Harry gasped.

"You know what, guys, I'm going to go throw up a little bit." he announced, fleeing the room. Remus looked at his two remaining friends with a knowing smile.

"I'm going to go see how Harry's holding up, you two." he said, backing out the door. "Have fun." The door slammed. Hermione jumped up.

"I _told _you you needed to be more quiet!" she spat. Sirius stood up as well.

"Me? You're the one who can't control her moans!"

"I can't help it! It's involuntary." she said prissily. Sirius snorted.

"Alright, but you're louder than me." he assured her. She rolled her eyes.

"And now they think that we're just some pervy, over-sexed couple who can't get enough of each other." she ranted. Sirius looked at her, his mouth wide open. She paused. "What's your problem?"

"You just said couple." he said simply. Now it was her turn to gape. His mouth rose into a pleased grin.

"No-wait...did I?" she asked, playing with the hem on her shirt. He nodded, his smile growing wider and wider.

"Yes. Yes you did." he said, continuing to nod his head. She acted as if she was going to speak, but shut her mouth, thinking.

"Do you...do you _want _to be a couple?" she asked quietly. Sirius shrugged.

"Only if you do." he said, meeting her eyes. She gulped.

"I mean...how do we know that we could be a couple?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," she said, taking a deep breath. "What if it's just for the sex? What if we actually don't really like each other outside of the bedroom?"

"Good point." Sirius agreed. They sat there awkwardly, both sneaking looks at the other. Finally Sirius turned to face her.

"You know what? This is ridiculous." he cried. He grabbed her shoulders. "Do you want to be with me?"

"I-yes." she squeaked. He nodded, and promptly kissed her. He pulled back, noting her stunned face.

"Good. Because I think your green hair is extremely sexy, and I need you now."

"So I don't look like a piece of asparagus?" she asked, smirking. Sirius laughed.

"Best looking piece of asparagus I've ever seen."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, Kay has gotten a bad grade. My retarded teachers and their stupidity. So, technically, I'm grounded. But that can't stop me from sneaking onto the computer to put a chapter on. Just for you, my dear readers.**

**Chapter back story time! My good friend, (i.e. Marcie) naturally has really bright red hair, which she recently dyed this extremely gorgeous brown-ish color. Marcie has tried out for the part of Alice in our local playhouse's production of _Alice In Wonderland. _For the part, she got this el-cheap-o temporary blonde hair color that lasts for like two weeks tops. So, I was at her house helping her color it, and...it turned green. Long story short, she didn't get the part because of her new hair, and she is really mad. Hah. Hah. Never purchase hair product from Great Clips.**

**Anyways, I also mentioned asparagus, because...it came with my steak at a restaurant and I tried it and it was disgusting.**

**So, thanks for the reviews! And the alerts! I love you guys! and thanks for waiting patiently waiting for me to pick up writing. You can blame my mother for my lag. **

**KAY(:**

**P.S. Hey, guys, is it getting too long? How many more chapters should I go? I was thinking one more, to make it an even 10. Let me know in a review (hint hint) if you want more chapters! I'll write for as long as you guys want me too! (:**


	11. Part the Tenth: What the Hell is That?

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Tenth:**

* * *

><p>"Remus?"<p>

"Hmm?"

"I'm bored."

"Congratulations."

"Where's Sirius?"

"I don't know. Probably with Harry or something."

"Mmm." Hermione mumbled, twirling a lock of her now semi-green hair around her finger. Remus sat beside her, concentrating deeply on his book, sneaking a glance at the witch beside him every so often. He took note of the bored expression on her pretty face and sighed, closing the tome in his hands with a thump.

"How about I tell you a story?" he suggested. Hermione looked at him, an eyebrow raised.

"How about you don't." she said, smirking over at him. Remus chuckled.

"I'm actually a pretty decent storyteller." he said defensively. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Tell me a story." she said with a nod. "But, it better be a good one."

* * *

><p>"Hey, 'Mione, love, Harry was looking for you and-Remus what are you doing, mate?" Sirius walked in the hotel room, closing the door behind him. Hermione was sitting on one side of the reading couch, her elbow resting on the armrest, and her head balanced on her hand, and a look of pure irritation on her face. Remus sat on the other side, waving his hands wildly in the air, deep in some story he was trying to tell. Sirius looked at the two strangely. Hermione glared at Remus.<p>

"Remus here has been telling me a story." she explained. "A thirty minute-long story."

"Yes, and I'm not even halfway done with it, thanks very much." Remus huffed. Sirius fought back the urge to smile.

"Oh? And what is this gripping tale about?"

"It's a personal memoir of my mother's childhood before she married my father." Remus explained. Hermione shook her head slowly while he wasn't looking. Sirius nodded at his friend with feigned interest.

"That sounds just great, Moony."

"Yeah, well, Sirius, you want to take a walk? I need some fresh air after having to listen to half an hour of that rigmarole." Hermione spat, jumping up and walking over to her lover, who was looking at her strangely. Hermione frowned. "What _are _you looking at, Sirius?"

"What the bloody buggering hell is a rigmarole?" he asked, a grin sliding onto his face. Hermione huffed.

"Oh, shut up. It means a long, rambly story."

"What's long?" Remus asked, looking up from his book. Sirius laughed.

"Hermione's rigmarole."

"What the hell is _that_?" the werewolf asked, wrinkling his nose. Hermione grumbled and walked to the door, slipping a coat over her shoulders. she opened the door walking straight into Harry.

"Oh, sorry, 'Mione." Harry apologized, smiling warmly at his friend before wrapping her in a bear hug. Sirius watched the two friends suspiciously before smiling at his godson.

"Oh, Harry, you're just in time to here about Hermione and her rigmarole." Harry grimaced and looked at Hermione.

"Your what?"

"Her rigmarole." Sirius said, grinning evilly at a frustrated Hermione.

"And what, pray tell, is a rigmarole?" Harry asked, hesitantly. Hermione rolled her eyes. Sirius laughed.

"Well, I shouldn't say anything, but I've seen her rigamarole plenty of times, and it's quite lovely."

"What?" Harry gasped. Hermione blushed.

"No! No. No, a rigmarole is a long-" she was interrupted by the entrance of Molly Weasly.

"What's long, dear?" she asked warmly, obviously sorry that she had interrupted Hermione. Hermione swallowed and opened her mouth but Harry beat her to it.

"Her rigmarole is long, apparently."

"Her what?" Molly asked, gaping at Hermione.

"Her rigmarole." Sirius, Harry, and Remus chorused. Molly shook her head disapprovingly.

"Well now, dearest, I don't think that's appropriate talk."

"But-" Hermione stuttered. Molly shook her head.

"No, no, Miss Hermione, lady's definitely do _not _talk about rigmaroles."

"But-"

"Sirius has _seen _her rigmarole." Harry commented. Hermione turned to glare at him. Molly frowned.

"Well that's just not right at all." she mumbled, walking out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So guess what I did this week? I learned a brand new word: rigmarole. (A long or rambling story or explanation.) Haha, When I heard it, I thought it was something dirty, and thought it sounded funny. (:**

**Sorry I haven't updated, guys. I had to write my quarterly essays for all of my classes, which took FOREVER. I've also had volleyball practices and churchy events to attend. Apologies.**

**Oh, and apologies for the length as well...That's totally what he said. **

**So, who wants smut? If you want smut in the next update, use this nifty code word in all caps at the end of a review: TANGERINE. (: **

**I swear to God, Buddha, Charlie Sheen, and the Almighty Krishna that I will try to update faster. I have fall break at the end of this week, so another chapter might be a huge possibility...!**

**Enjoy!**

**KAY(:**


	12. Part the Eleventh 1: Ten Years Gone I

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Eleventh:**

**Part 1:**

* * *

><p>"Baby."<p>

Hermione gasped an turned around, surprised at the sudden warmth in her tummy. She sighed as Sirius wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her into his chest, swaying back and forth.

"Sirius." she hissed, momentarily distracted with him nuzzling her neck tenderly. He mumbled something she didn't understand. "Sirius, stop."

"Yeah?" he groaned. She bit her lip, about to melt into a puddle. His smell, amber and wood, was pouring into her soul, clouding her brain.

"Yeah."

"You don't really want that, do you, love?"

"Y-no."

"Alright, so hush." he chided, nibbling her ear skillfully, causing her knees to quiver uncontrollably. He chuckled at her reaction, and ran his large hands down her body. The lovers were so preoccupied, they didn't hear the hotel room door opening.

"Oh, sweet fuck!" Ron shouted, covering his eyes. Hermione pulled back, mortified. Sirius stood behind her, holding back a smile. Ron shook his head, horrified.

"You two, like rabbits, isn't it weird enough that you guys are shagging anyways? You really have to do it around every corner?" he spat, glaring at the couple. Sirius couldn't refrain from laughing.

"Oh, please, mate. Don't be jealous since you're all..._alone._"

"I am not." Ron said, defensively. Hermione smirked and leaned back into Sirius.

"Yeah, Ronald, dearest, when's the last time you got some?" she teased. Ron blushed, his ears turning red. Sirius grinned and nodded at them.

"As much fun as discussing Ron's sexuality is, I'm in the mood for a shower." he announced, pulling his shirt over his head, and flinging it over his shoulder. He grinned at Hermione, who was gazing at his flat chest appreciatively. "You wanna join me, kitten?" Hermione blushed and glanced at Ron, who looked as if he was about to vomit, and shook her head. Sirius shrugged, and smacked her arse before walking into the bathroom. When the door slammed closed, Ron opened his eyes slowly, shaking his head and plopping down onto the bed. Hermione frowned.

"What's wrong, Ron?" she asked softly, sitting beside him. He turned to face her, his blue eyes cloudy.

"Do you...love him? Or is he just some passing phase?" he asked quietly. Hermione exhaled and looked at her feet.

"I-I don't know. I don't _want _it to be some phase, I want it to be real, since I really care about him. Why?" she asked, gulping. Ron didn't answer. "Ron, why?"

"Nevermind."

"No, tell me."

"You'll laugh."

"No. I want to know."

"Just forget it, Hermione."

"Ron." Hermione said sternly. Ron sighed and ran a hand through his red hair.

"Well, Hermione, I..."

"Yes?"

"I...we've been friends for a really long time, right? And lately, I've been noticing how you're a girl...not that I thought of you as a guy, but...Hermione, I really like you, and I think...I think I love you."

"Ron..."

"And Sirius, he isn't right for you! He's just in it for the sex!"

"Ron..."

"I want you, Hermione, I want to be with you."

"Ron...please. I want to be with Sirius. I'm sorry, but I love you like a _brother._ I don't feel the same way. I don't want to hurt you." Hermione whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder. His face had fallen into a look of sorrow, and it made her heart break for her friend. She put her head on his shoulder, trying to sooth him. When she did, Ron maneuvered her head around just so, and captured her lips with his in a messy, forceful kiss. Hermione struggled to get away, but couldn't do so, when he was jamming his tongue down her throat. At that moment, Sirius stepped out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist, his grin fading as he saw _his _Hermione Frenching the Weasel.

"What the hell, Hermione?" he asked. Ron let her go, and she turned to Sirius, who looked as if he was going to either cry, or kill Ron. She stuttered, trying to find an explanation, to tell him what had happened, when he shook his head and stormed out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Another chapter! (: I love fights like this. **

**Unfortunately, I'm having guy-trouble with my on-off boyfriend, who apparently, has _another _girlfriend RIGHT NOW, while we are dating...and ugh. I couldn't even write anything funny. Bitchy boys ruin a lot of things. **

**This will be a Part One and Two chapter.**

**Anyways...haha, thanks for the great reviews! They really motivate me to get off my lazy butt and type a story up. As long as ya'll keep reviewing, I'll keep writing. Also, Led Zeppelin really helps the writing process go more smoothly, so if anyone has any neat Led Zeppelin stories, concert stories, fan stories, stories about fan-girling over Robert Plant in his prime, or any cool videos on YouTube, just write your cool story in a review(; I have no idea how Led Zeppelin is relevant to this story, but who cares? If you have a video, just send it to me in a PM. **

**PM looks like PMS at first glance. Just thought I'd share.**

**Okay, well, thanks for reading! **

**Enjoy! **

**KAY(: (In honor of Led Zeppelin, this chapter title will be one of their song titles)**

**ANNOUNCEMENT: ON MY PROFILE, AT THE VERY, VERY BOTTOM, IS A LIST OF MY UPCOMING STORIES, AS WELL AS STORY NEWS. If anyone finds that helpful, if you're keeping up with my stories. you probably aren't Just in case, you are though...haha. **


	13. Part the Eleventh 2: Ten Years Gone II

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Eleventh:**

**Part 1:**

* * *

><p><em>Previously in "Are We There Yet?":<em>

_"What the hell, Hermione?" he asked. Ron let her go, and she turned to Sirius, who looked as if he was going to either cry, or kill Ron. She stuttered, trying to find an explanation, to tell him what had happened, when he shook his head and stormed out of the room._

* * *

><p>"God, Sirius, wait!" Hermione panted, jogging after him. He was storming down the sidewalk by the road, cars zooming by, their headlights illuminating his silhouette in the dark. She felt tears sting her eyes when he didn't turn around; he just continued walking briskly. She sped up and moved in front of him, causing him to stop, still not looking at her. "Sirius, please."<p>

"What? What could you possibly want, Hermione?"

"I want you to listen to me." she begged, grabbing his hand. He jerked it away.

"What could you possibly have to _say_?"

"I can explain-"

"Explain what? That you don't want me? That you want Ron? That I'm a creepy old man and that you don't want to be with me?" Sirius raged. "If that's all you have to say, Granger, then you made it all perfectly clear."

"But I _don't _want Ron. I want _you._ Sirius, I want you so badly that I'm about to die right now. If you would just listen to me, I would be able to tell you what happened!"

"I don't care, Hermione. Just leave it alone." Sirius said coldly, walking away from her angrily. Hermione stood for a moment in the night air watching him begin to disappear in the dark until she recovered her senses and ran as fast as she could to try and gain his trust.

"Sirius!" she called. "He set me up! He told me he loved me, so I told him that I didn't love him back, and he got mad and started saying that you weren't good enough for me, and he kissed me, and I couldn't get away, and you walked in, and, oh, Sirius, turn around! Come back!" He continued walking. By now, the tears were streaming down her cheeks and making spots on her jacket. "Please, come back." she whispered softly, too softly for him to even hear. She dried her eyes and decided to bite the bullet and beg for him on her hands and knees if she had to. With this newfound determination, she set of into a sprint, and was quite out of breath when she finally caught up with him again.

"Hermione, please, go back to the hotel." he said, not looking at her. She gave a shuddering sigh.

"No."

"Please?"

"Did you not hear a thing I just said, Sirius?"

"Yes, I did."

"So you don't believe me?" she asked, her mouth dropping open. Sirius frowned.

"Hermione-"

"No, Sirius, I-I-I love you, okay?" she said quickly. "I don't know why, it confuses me, but I do, and I miss you already, and I want you to believe me."

"You love me." he stated, not really talking to her, but more to himself. She waited nervously, tapping her foot on the sidewalk in anxiety. He finally looked at her, his eyes flitting from her eyes to her lips.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm an idiot." he said, closing the space in between them and capturing her lips with his own. She sighed into his mouth before pulling away, looking at him seriously.

"I meant it, you know." she whispered. He nodded.

"I know."

"Well..."

"I feel the same." he said quietly. She beamed at him, and grabbed his hand, dragging him back to the hotel. He laughed at her eagerness.

"What's the hurry, love?"

"I can't wait to get this dress off and get you inside me, Sirius."

"I feel the same." he said, grinning, and picking her up, hoisting her over his shoulder, and running back to the room with as much enthusiasm as she had had.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I don't like this very much at all. I was angry when the first part was written, and now I'm not angry anymore. Now, this is just a filler until the next chapter, which will be funny(; I'm excited, guys.**

**I've been so busy. Gosh, so much homework. Thanks for all of the sweet reviews, by the way! I appreciate them!**

**So, here's to tide you over until this weekend, when I can produce something decent.**

**Enjoy!**

**KAY(:**


	14. Part the Twelfth: Devil Wears Prada

**"Are We There Yet?**

**Part The Twelfth:**

* * *

><p>"Ginny, I'm not your baby doll that you can dress up and make-over as you please." Hermione groaned. "I'm <em>not <em>wearing that dress."

"Yes," Ginny snapped. "You are."

"But-"

"No. You're wearing that dress if you like it or not, Hermione Granger, because you're going to have a fabulous Halloween."

"I don't need to dress like a slag to have a fabulous Halloween." Hermione argued weakly. Ginny looked at her pointedly.

"Shut up, and don't be such a prude."

"Hurtful." Hermione said, smirking. Ginny rolled her eyes and turned around to pull a shopping bag out of her suitcase. She looked at it for a moment before thrusting it into Hermione's arms.

"Put this on. And don't you dare complain. Now, you, go to the bathroom and change like a good girl, and I'll do your hair when you come out."

"Ginny-"

"Now." Ginny said, shoving her reluctant friend into the direction of the loo. Before closing the door, Hermione stuck her tongue out at her red-headed friend.

"Hey, Ginny." Harry said, walking in and kissing his girlfriend on the cheek. Ginny beamed at him. Sirius and Remus trailed in behind him.

"Hey, yourself."

"What are you up to?"

"Me and 'Mione are getting ready for Halloween." Ginny said, smiling and grabbing another shopping bag from her luggage. Harry nodded approvingly.

"What are you going to be, love?"

"It's a surprise, Harry." Ginny drawled, as if he should have known. "We're going to go to Treat-or-Tricking down in a close-by neighborhood."

"You mean Trick-or-Treating?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Will you two stop by our room before you head off? I'd like to go." Harry asked. Ginny nodded.

"You need a costume."

"Rubbish, I can go as myself." he joked. Ginny chuckled and gave him a quick side hug. She pranced over to the bathroom and tapped on the door.

"'Mione." she sang. Hermione cleared her throat.

"Gin, is anyone out there?"

"Uh...no, why?"

"Well, I don't know if I like it."

"Just come on out, 'Mione." Ginny persuaded, winking at everyone else. Hermione stepped out of the bathroom in black stiletto heels which tied at the ankle with a silk ribbon. Her dress was red and tight and hit her mid-thigh. A tail protruded from the back of the dress. The dress was cut low, and had a built in push up bra, maximizing her mammaries about two cup sizes. Tiny red straps held the dress to her shoulders. Her curls were messy and unruly, but perched atop them, was a pair of horns. Ginny jumped up and down, squealing in delight.

"Oh, 'Mione, doll, you look amazing!"

"Thanks, Ginny, but-oh, my gosh! _They're _in here?" she asked, nodding towards Remus, Sirius, and Harry, who sat on the bed, grinning at her. She spluttered. Ginny giggled.

"What do you think, boys?"

"You look bloody fucking brilliant, kitten." Sirius purred, his eyes grazing over he body. Remus cleared his throat awkwardly, bright red.

"You-you do look nice." he squeaked. "Is it hot in here? Anyone?"

"Beautiful as always, 'Mione." Harry beamed. Hermione blushed.

"Ginny, go get ready, yeah? Don't worry about my hair, let's just go out as soon as we can." she pleaded. Ginny nodded and ran to the bathroom to get changed. She came out a few moments later in an outfit almost the same as Hermione's only hers was an angel costume. Harry gulped as soon as he saw her, instantly rewarded with a heated look from Ginny.

"Ready?" she asked Hermione, who nodded. "Remus, would you mind terribly to drive us?"

"No problem." Remus replied with a tight smile, reaching for the keys in his pocket. "Let's go."

"I call backseat with Hermione." Sirius said, laughing. Hermione rolled her eyes. As they walked out the door, he leaned over to whisper into her ear.

"A devil, huh?"

"Oh, hush, Ginny bought it, not me."

"Mm hm." Sirius teased, poking her side. Hermione laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Shut up, really, Sirius." she said, winking at him. "I hope we get lots of candy."

"Maybe a caramel apple or something."

"You like caramel apples, Sirius?" she asked, tilting her head at him. He nodded eagerly, leading her to the car.

"Of course. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I would much rather have _you _on _my _stick covered in caramel."

"We've already done that, if you don't remember."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A Halloween chapter...a day after Halloween. You're probably thinking I attended a wild Halloween party or something...no. I went to bed at like nine last night. My life is sad, isn't it. **

**Well, this wasn't the funny chapter I promised. That will be coming next, because I forgot to do a Halloween chapter. **

**Guess what I was for Halloween? A slutty nurse! Nah, I was the mildly naughty Little Red Riding Hood! (: We went trick-or-treating on Saturday, and I got chased by a really mean Pomeranian, and in the chase, he ripped the skirt. Damn dog. **

**Updates will be soon!**

**KAY(:**


	15. Part the Thirteenth: XYZ

**~Are We There Yet?~**

**Part the Thirteenth:**

* * *

><p>"This is what hell is going to be like." Sirius stated while gripping onto the overhead bar tightly. "Full of people with bad hygiene and the smell of cigar smoke."<p>

"Yes, Sirius, because the subway and hell are the exact same thing." Hermione teased from her seat. The Subway was too full to be comfortable, and a nice old man gave his seat to Hermione. Sirius had taken to standing right in front of her, glaring with dislike at everyone aboard the train.

"Why do Muggles have to be so filthy?" he hissed, as a man beside him with terrible body odor raised his arm to hold onto the bar as well. Hermione stifled a giggle.

"I don't know, I've seen some pretty disgusting people of your sort, too." she pointed out. Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but closed it quickly, nodding in agreement. Suddenly, the subway jolted and began to inch forward. As it did so, the bad smelling man stumbled and his armpit was shoved unceremoniously into Sirius' appalled face. Hermione gasped as the man hurriedly apologized to a glaring Sirius who leaned down to whisper into Hermione's ear.

"Welcome to layer nine."

"Quit, Sirius." She chided with a smirk on her face. Sirius continued to mumble quietly under his breath. Hermione rolled her eyes at her lover's dramatic antics.

"Do you want to sit down?" she huffed. Sirius looked at her.

"No, you need to sit down, love, I'm fine."

"I can sit on your lap."

"Im all over that idea, kitten." He said with a wink. Again, she rolled her eyes and allowed him to slide behind her. She plopped down onto his lap and snuggled into his chest as his strong arms wrapped around her waist. A bit later, the train lurched to a screeching halt, and some people near the front end of the train began to shout and shriek. Hermione looked around, confused.

"Oi, everybody settle down! This train is under a hold up! Everyone put your hands up and stay quiet!" a man shouted. The train became silent. He pushed his way up and down the subway car, twirling a shiny, black gun in his gloved hand. Hermione bit her lip and looked at Sirius who looked as if he was about to laugh. She elbowed him in the ribs.

"What's funny?" she asked as softly as possible. Sirius closed his eyes, a ghost of a smile gracing his lips.

"His fly's down." He whispered back. Hermione glared prudishly at her lover. He didn't look back at her, but kept his eyes focused ahead of him.

"Oh, grow up, Sirius, this isn't funny." She hissed. He shrugged.

"Im only trying to make the situation not as bad, darling, relax."

"Who's talking?" the masked man barked, turning around angrily, waving his gun in the air. Sirius casually lifted a panicky Hermione off of his lap and stood up.

"Well that was me."

"I told you to be quiet!"

"Your fly's down, mate." Sirius pointed out. Hermione blushed with embarrassment and shook her head slowly.

"W-what?" the robber spluttered. Sirius sighed.

"Your. Fly. Is. Down." He said, slower. The man continued to look at him with disbelief. A few of the other passengers began to snicker. "XYZ. Your zipper is unzipped."

"Sit back down! Im not afraid to shoot!"

"Men may be from Mars…but I see something that rhymes with Venus."

"Shut up!"

"Red rocket, red rocket, get back in the socket…" Sirius sang. The masked man cocked his gun angrily and pointed it at Sirius who took a few steps back. "I was trying to be helpful."

"Sit. Down." The man hissed. Sirius glanced back at a red faced Hermione, and cleared his throat.

"I will." He said. "When you put your mouse back in its house." The man cursed loudly and dove at Sirius, causing Hermione to scream. The two men wrestled for a few short moments, until the doors of the train flew open and the police started pouring in, forcing all of the relieved passengers to file out of the subway. The police handcuffed the mumbling man in the mask, and turned to Sirius gratefully.

"Thank you, sir, for distracting him until we got here. You've done our city of London a great favor."

"No problem, mates. Just doing my duty as a citizen of this lovely community." He replied, taking Hermione's hand into his and leading her off the train, smiling at the cops on their way out. He turned back to the robber. "Your fly's still down."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Guess who feels like a terrible author? ... MEEEE! (; Im extremely sorry for my ridiculously long gap between updating. You guys have no idea how busy Ive been and how stupid my computer has been being the past few days.**

**Thanks for the reviews! ... Not. Haha, no offense, but you guys disappointed me greatly for the last chapter! Not many reviews at all! **

**This chapter really has no point, but I decided to go back to the whole transportation theme...and I found a whole bunch of these funny dirty limericks online, and there was a section for telling someone that their fly is down...it all kind of just clicked into place in my mind(; Oh well, it made me smile, because I found it all so very Sirius-like. **

**Here we go...Im in the mood for smut...If anyone wants smut...let me know:**

**A spontaneous shag: Codeword: BEANDIP**

**Hot shower sex: Codeword: RHINESTONE **

**EmbarassingSituationSex: Codeword: GORILLA. **

**If you havent guessed, Im trying to milk as many reviews as I can from you. Im like the FanFiction Hobo. Im gonna do my little music act on the side of the street and have a dog right beside me for the little kids to pet so that sympathetic moms will throw wads of cash into my hat. Uhmmm, that illustration made sense in my mind. So...**

**I swear I'll try to update ASAP(: Leave me a codeword in a review to give me helpful reader input.**

**KAY(;**


	16. Part the Fourteenth: The Bunny Trail

**~Are We There Yet?~**

**Part the Fourteenth:**

* * *

><p>"Have I ever mentioned that I hate Moody?" Sirius mumbled to Hermione. She laughed and raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Yes, you have. Many times, actually."

"Well I meant it. Every single time. And I still hate him."

"Is there a particular reason for this hatred?"

"Yes! He _still _hasn't told us what our mission is, and Im bloody tired of being dragged all over the damn island of Britain doing God knows what."

"Sirius, I think everyone feels that way."

"And not to mention that eye." Sirius added, grimacing. Hermione tilted her head at him.

"Sirius, that's terrible! He can't help it that he lost his eye!"

"Alright, but he can help being so creepy."

"Sirius!"

"You know it's true! What's wrong with a _normal _glass eye or an eyepatch or something?"

"Sirius, I hope that you lose your eye one day, and that everyone calls you creepy behind your back." Hermione chided. Sirius grinned.

"That wasn't very nice, lovely." he teased, poking her side lightly. Hermione rearranged herself on the blanket which was spread out across the grass. Moody had sent the entire group off to picnic in a remote field. Why? No one, besides Moody, had any idea. They had halfheartedly set up their blankets and picnic baskets in the grass, scratching their arms when a pesky insect would land on them.

"What kind of sick person eats on the ground anyways?" Sirius grumbled, brushing an ant off of his sandwich. "I feel like an animal."

"Sirius, you _are _a dog." Hermione reminded him. He rolled his eyes and stood up, reaching out to help her do so as well.

"I'm taking a walk." he said simply. Hermione grinned and took the outstretched hand. The two wandered around the field, and decided to walk alongside a small river that ran through a forest. After about half an hour, Sirius came to a halt. Hermione frowned.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Sirius looked her up and down.

"Let's have sex."

"Here?" Hermione spluttered. Sirius laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, why?"

"Sirius, it's a forest!"

"So? I doubt that there are going to be any little woodland critters who would object to us shagging in their habitat." he pointed out. Hermione gaped at him.

"What about the bunnies?" she asked, horrified. Sirius smirked.

"What _about_ the bunnies?"

"We can't have sex in front of the bunnies." Hermione said, her face serious. Sirius looked at her oddly.

"Why ever not?"

"They're bunnies!" she shrieked, as if that answered everything. Sirius chuckled.

"Darling, I don't think the bunnies care." he said, ignoring her glare. "Have you seen the way they pop out babies?"

"Touche." she said, biting her lip. They stood there, in the middle of the forest, with the sound of chirping insects echoing around them, staring at each other. Suddenly, they jumped towards each other, lips crashing together and clothes flying through the air. Before no time, he was inside her, and she was screaming loudly in pleasure as his thrusts grew faster and faster until she let out one final shout of lust, coming hard. Sirius held her up, panting heavily. When they finally composed themselves, they put on their clothes and decided to head back to the field. Before they left, Hermione looked at her feet, horrified. There, on the ground were two baby bunnies, just sitting there, looking up at her with their big eyes. Hermione scowled at Sirius.

"There's a bunny!" she cried. Sirius looked at the little white rodents.

"Yes, love, those are bunnies."

"Bunnies! We just tainted them! They saw our passionate love-making and now they're going to go through the rest of their lives scarred!"

"Hermione, it's a bunny." Sirius said quietly. Hermione looked at him.

"A bunny, a little white bunny, is the absolute picture of innocence! We just screwed up the world's innocence!"

"Hermione..."

"No, Sirius, don't say anything."

"Hermione, listen..."

"Stop, Sirius!"

"Hermione!" Sirius said, gripping her shoulders. She huffed and glared at him. He pointed to the ground impatiently. Her gaze followed his finger, and she saw that he was pointing at the bunnies. She gasped as she saw that one bunny was furiously humping the other from behind, it's little bunny penis clearly visible. Hermione and Sirius looked at each other and burst out into hysterical laughter.

"Picture of innocence, yeah right."

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><p><strong>AN: Yes, bunnies have penises. They're small. A little bigger than Justin Bieber's, but...still small. They also have itty bitty ball-sacks! I didnt even know that! :D Google it if you want. (: I don't even know what inspired this chapter...don't ask. I hope it made you grin. I know I grinned when I Google Imaged "Bunny Penis". Quick update though, yeah? Thanks for the reviews!**

**DUG DUH DUH! The votes are in from last weeks code word thing:**

**Spontaneous Shag: 5 votes**

**Hot Shower Sex: 8 votes**

**Embarrassing Situation Sex: 6 votes**

**Thank you for the input! Obviously, this chapter doesn't count at all towards any of these categories, and the promised smut will come in the next chapter or so! I would love to hear what you think about this chapter! **

**Review, Review, Review! **

**Put the Codeword CORNDOG in a review if you've never even bothered to think/ wonder it bunnies have penises. If you already had thought about bunny penises, use the Codeword PEPPERCORN. (: this is going downhill...fast.**

**KAY(:**


	17. Part the Fifteenth: Santa's Real

**~Are We There Yet?~**

**Part the Fifteenth:**

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><p><strong>AN: You know what? I'm putting this at the front of the chapter...simply to express to you how sorry I am for neglecting you. **

**This is how the past three weeks of my life has gone: I've written a two page science paper, a book review of "Pride and Prejudice", had to study for many tests, had two projects due, my aunt had a baby (It's name is Eloise ****Lynn! 6 pounds, 3 ounces, blonde hair, brown eyes, adorable.), had to read half of the book "Silence of the Lambs" for an online book club, put on a Christmas play at church, gotten over a cold and a stomach bug, attended three birthday parties, and this week, my exams start. I am about to pull out every single blonde hair on my head. THIS is why I haven't given you all a new chapter. Yes. Feel bad for me. (:**

**But. I've missed it. I've gotten reviews which have motivated me. SO. While sitting, typing up a study guide for my upcoming History exam, eating a bowl of mac'n'cheese, and listening to Amy Winehouse (RIP), I've decided to give everyone a new chapter! **

**Here. Here you are, my dearies. ENJOY! (:**

* * *

><p>"I'm so happy it's almost Christmas time!" Harry said happily, looking outside of the hotel room window at the fluttering flakes of snow. Ginny nodded in agreement.<p>

"I know! Everyone is in a better mood around this time of year." she commented. Ron grabbed another cookie from the plate on the middle of the bed. Everyone was enjoying the warmth of the hotel room. Remus and Sirius were engaged in a game of wizard's chess, while Ron was flipping through the stations on the television, Hermione and Ginny sat beside Harry on the bed, their backs against the headboard. Ginny rested her head on her boyfriend's shoulder while Hermione had her legs sprawled out over his lap. The group of friends were feasting on store-bought cookies and apple cider, excited for the Christmas season.

"What's your favorite part about Christmas, Ginny?" Hermione asked, smiling at her friend. Ginny curled her knees up to her chest and thought.

"Hmm. Well, at home when I was little, I always liked running down the stairs on Christmas morning to see Mum and Dad waiting for us by the tree."

"That's always what I liked, too." Ron added, smiling. "Well, that, and getting presents."

"I always enjoyed the Christmas pranks we used to play back at Hogwarts." said a grinning Sirius. Remus chuckled in remembrance.

"Yes, do you remember that one we did with the enchanted mistletoe?" he asked. "Would follow girls around and drive them mad."

"Ah, Moony, those were the days." Sirius said, laughing. Hermione and Ginny looked at each other, rolling their eyes. After a moment of comfortable silence, Ginny smiled up at Harry.

"What about you, Harry? Any fond Christmas memories with the Dursleys?"

"Oh, you bet. Who could ever forget watching Dudley open all of his presents?" Harry replied with a wink. Ginny and Hermione laughed.

"What about you, "Mione?" What's your favorite part about Christmas?" he asked, turning to face his bushy-haired friend.

"Oh, well, I'm actually not much of a Christmas-y person."

"What?" everyone cried, all spinning around to look at her in disbelief.

"I mean, I don't know, I just...I've just never really liked Christmas much."

"How can you hate Christmas?" Ron asked, shaking his head.

"No, I don't _hate _it..."

"You're such a scrooge!" Harry said, laughing and shoving her playfully. Hermione stuck out her tongue. Sirius frowned.

"'Mione, no girl of mine is going to say she doesn't like Christmas. I mean, come on. There's gift giving, and a huge dinner, and lights, and carols, and...Christmas Eve sex..."

"Do you always have to be so horny, Sirius?" Harry asked, tossing a pillow at his laughing godfather.

"All I'm saying is that you can't _not _like Christmas time!"

"I bet even Lord Voldemort likes Christmas time, Hermione." Ginny said, seriously. Hermione shook her head and laughed.

"Oh, quit. I didn't say I hated it! I tolerate it."

"Why don't you like it?" Remus asked, moving a chess piece forward. Hermione looked around, biting her lip.

"Well, when I was little, I waited up to see Santa Claus...and I saw my dad slip the presents under the tree with 'From: Santa' tags on them. I was absolutely heartbroken, and ever since then, I've been kind of turned off towards Christmas."

"Really? You don't like Christmas because you found out that Santa isn't real?" Ron snorted.

"Come on, 'Mione, I've known he wasn't real since I was eight." Ginny said, laughing. Hermione huffed defensively.

"Shut up, guys, it was a big deal to me." she said, crossing her arms. Sirius chuckled.

"What would you like for Christmas, love?" he asked. "Something to put you in the Christmas spirit."

"Anything?" Hermione asked.

"Anything."

"Well...maybe a new quill and ink stand, or some fancy parchment..."

"We're not talking about _Hermione _gifts. We're talking about gifts that normal people might want, too." Harry teased.

"Fine. I've always wanted a string of pearls."

"Now, we're talking." Sirius said, winking. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well what's on you Christmas list, Sirius?"

"You. Dressed as Santa Claus. On top of me."

"Oh, shut up!"

"Ugh, really?"

"Mental image, mate."

"Sorry, sorry." Sirius replied. He grinned at his crimson-faced Hermione. "What I'd really like is some new dress robes."

"La-ame." Ginny and Harry chorused. Sirius smirked and returned to his chess game. The room was once again quiet. Ginny stood up and shot Hermione a look. She sighed and followed her friend outside to stand on the balcony.

"What are you going to get him?"

"I'm not sure."

"You'd better not get him dress robes."

"I'm not."

"In other words, you better take him up on that whole sexy Santa fantasy of his."

"What? No!" Hermione gasped. Ginny raised her eyebrows.

"Hermione, I'll take you to find a costume. I'll help you! But you're not going to buy him anything practical. I won't let you."

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><p><strong>AN: DUN DUN DUN...not really. (: The next chapter will be more humorous than this. But I guess every story needs a fuzzy little Christmas chapter. **

**So...here's your code-words. What sexy Christmas costume should Hermione buy?**

**1) Naughty Elf - JINGLE (They carry Santa's big ole sack...of toys!)**

**2) Seductive Snowman - CAROL (Yes, snowmen can be quite seductive. I can't resist their sexy button eyes and lopsided carrot noses.)**

**3) Risque Reindeer - SLEIGH (Don't you love my adjectives?)**

**4) Sexy Santa - COCOA**

**5) Dirty Drummer-Girl - RUMPAPUMPUM (I literally saw this costume on an online costume store. Haha, it's like the song, you know?)**

**Well, you know how it goes, leave a codeword in a review, and whichever word gets the most reviews, it'll be in the next chapter! (:**

**I'll try to update faster, guys!**

**KAY(:**


	18. Part the Sixteenth: Ho Ho Ho

**~Are We There Yet?~**

**Part the Sixteenth:**

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><p>The smell of leather hit Hermione's nose as Ginny led her through the door of the lingerie store. The small shop was dimly lit by red lights hanging from the ceiling and the place was completely empty except for the employees, who were all dressed in a very skanky fashion. Hermione was a little bit late on this whole costume thing. It had taken until after Christmas for her to be persuaded into buying the outfit, which might have been a good thing, because now the Christmas costumes were on sale. Ginny pranced to the back of the store where the costumes were, while Hermione lingered in the front with a grimace on her face. She walked hesitantly to where Ginny was standing.<p>

"Why am I doing this?" she asked. Ginny looked at her pointedly and nodded towards a particularly risqué Santa costume.

"Because this," she explained, taking the costume off of the rack, "Is going to make your man happy."

"Is it? Because it's positively degrading." Hermione spat, crossing her arms prudishly. Ginny rolled her eyes and shoved the costume into her arms, along with a pair of shoes.

"Well, I don't care. Try it on." she commanded, steering a protesting Hermione into a dressing room, pulling the red velvet curtain barrier shut. Hermione bit her lip. Of course, she had to try it on; Ginny was standing guard outside the dressing room. She couldnt very well escape the wrath of her favourite red-head. She hesitated, looking at the costume warily, trying to think of a way to get out of having to actually put it on. She peked outside the curtain, but popped her head back in when she saw an impatient Ginny tapping her foot, waiting for her to change. Hermione sighed and leaned back against the dressing room wall, putting the outfit down on the bench. After a moment, she decided that it wouldn't hurt to at least try it on, even if it was only to calm Ginny down. She nodded to herself, and began to undress. Slowly, without daring to look in the mirror, she put on the fishnets. Then, the red Santa dress came over her head. After that, came the black stillettos. She sighed, and placed the Santa hat on the very top of her curls.

She turned around, her eyes closed, to face the mirror. She opened one eye, very slowly, and then opened the other.

She looked fantastic. Not trampy, but fantastic.

She grinned at her reflection as he noted how perfectly this costume suited her. The dress was tight around the top, but flowed out into a skirt that reached the very middle of her thigh. The tights made her legs look about ten times longer, with the help from the stilettos, and she felt...attractive. She looked at herself for a moment more before stepping outside of the room.

She was instantly tackled by a squealing Ginny Weasly.

"Bloody hell, 'Mione, Sirius is going to love it!" Ginny gushed, looking her up and down. "Merlin, he'll adore it!"

"Are you sure that I'm not going to look like an idiot?"

"Absolutely not."

"I don't want to make a fool of myself."

"You won't, Hermione. You look fabulous." Ginny assured her. "Go change back so we can go back home and you can let Sirius open his gift!"

"Don't be gross, Ginny. I'm doing this to humor you." Hermione said, sticking her chin in the air and strutting back into the dressing room and trying to ignore Ginny's laughter.

* * *

><p>"Hey, ladies." Sirius said, once they got back to the room. "Did you get any Christmas shopping done?"<p>

"Oh, yes we did." Ginny said with a grin, setting her own bags down on one of the beds. Sirius and Harry were playing a game of cards and listening to a football game on a small radio sitting on the table that they were sitting at. Hermione smiled as she stashed her purchased goods in her suitcase. Ginny shot her friend a pointed look and cleared her throat loudly.

"Hey, Harry, could you come downstairs with me for a moment to grab some food? I'm starved." Ginny asked. Harry and Sirius looked up from their game.

"Can you not go down by yourself, Ginny?" Harry whined. Ginny scowled at him, walked over to the table, and grabbed his arm.

"Because, _darling, _some strange man could grab me on the way down the stairs and then you'd feel just awful." Ginny said through her teeth. She shot Hermione a pointed look and cleared her throat, dragging Harry out the door. Sirius chuckled.

"Well someone's whipped, eh?" he joked. Hermione smiled slightly.

"I have your Christmas gift." she said simply. Sirius frowned.

"Isn't it a little late? You already gave me that lovely tie, and besides, it's almost Valentine's Day."

"Well this can be your Valentine's gift, too."

"Oh," Sirius said, grinning. "Well then this better be good if it's going to count as two presents."

"You're such a five year old." Hermione teased, grabbing the shopping bag from her suitcase and prancing off to the bathroom. A moment later, she came out donning the sexy ensemble. Sirius' jaw dropped, and his eyes grazed down his witch's lovely body, taking in every dip and curve.

"Well Ho Ho Ho." he breathed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Holy. Freaking. Crap. I'm so sorry that this is so late! I feel like a terrible person! Don't be too angry with me, I've just been busy.**

**In order to make this all up to you, I'm putting up two chapters at a time! *Bonus Dance***

**So go down to the bottom right corner of your screen and click the ~next~ button for the next chapter! **

**KAY(:**


	19. Part the Seventeenth: Cupid's Arrow

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part the Seventeenth:**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>"Bloody buggering hell." Sirius mumbled under his breath. Harry and Remus looked at him strangely.

"What's up with you?" Harry asked, nudging his godfather in the arm.

"Valentine's Day is two days away, that's what, and-"

"And you still haven't gotten Hermione anything, have you?" Remus finished, grinning. Harry laughed.

"No, I haven't, and I'm sort of running out of time." Sirius said, scowling. Harry thought for a moment.

"I got Ginny a diamond heart pendant, she's been hinting at one lately."

"Funny, I got one for Tonks, too." Remus said, frowning at Harry, who raised his eyebrows and went over to his jacket, pulling out a long black box from one of the pockets.

"Does it look like this?" Harry asked the werewolf, opening the box. Remus gasped, and pulled his own necklace from his overnight bag, opening the box as well.

"That street vender told me that it was a one-of-a-kind necklace from France!"

"Dammit, he told me that, too." Harry cursed, glaring at the jewelry. "I paid three hundred dollars for this."

"Well you'll just have to find something else to give your little girlfriend, because think about how bad it would be for us to give both Ginny and Tonks the same exact gift."

"Why me?" Harry exclaimed. Remus huffed.

"Because I'm older!"

"So?"

"So you two should shut it and help me find something to buy Hermione." Sirius cut in angrily. His two friends mumbled and apology, and the three sat in silence. Harry perked up after a moment.

"Hey, I have an idea, just give her some chocolates or something until you can think of something better. We can go down to a little grocery store or something and pick up a box."

"Alright, I guess that might buy me some time." Sirius said, sighing. "Come on, mates, we're going shopping."

* * *

><p>The three men browsed the Valentines aisle awkwardly, passing rows of cheap stuffed animals holding plush hearts and boxes of cards with insincere sentiments written on them.<p>

"Okay, we need a box of chocolates, keep your eyes out for them." Remus said, examining the rows of gifts intently. Sirius groaned.

"Is a box of candy going to be sufficient?"

"If it's a fancy box of candy, I guess." Remus said with a shrug. Sirius gasped, seeing the candy aisle approaching. He ran to grab the biggest, best heart-shaped container of chocolates.

"Here we go." he said happily. Harry grinned.

"That should do." he agreed.

"That's a fantastic looking box of candy, mate." Remus said, admiring the bright red box in his friend's hands. Sirius looked around.

"Do you think that I should get her a teddy bear, too?"

"Go for it." Harry urged. Sirius nodded decisively and hurried to grab a huge teddy bear that was sitting on display. Remus rubbed his hands together.

"I'd get some of those candy hearts, as well."

"Oh, and some roses." Harry added. Sirius smiled went to buy some flowers in the next aisle. He came back with a huge bouquet of red roses and a box of candy hearts.

"Okay, I'm ready." he said, heading towards the check out counter, Remus and Harry trailing behind him. When he set his purchases on the counter, the man at the register laughed.

"I'm guessing someone's running a little bit late on their gift shopping, eh?" he asked, chuckling. Sirius scowled.

"No, I'm just...just...just ring it all up."

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><p><strong>AN: *ding ding ding* here's your crappy bonus chapter! It's like one of those free gifts you get from those infomercials..."Double your order and we'll send you a free click-pen!"...it's like...no...I don't want your damn click-pen, you know? But you double your order anyway, and you get your click-pen, and it ends up being the best pen you ever used, and you end up loving it more than whatever you had to double your order on. My point being, this story is your order and this is your click-pen and even though it may be the shittiest incentive ever, you still love it and...just...gah.**

**Sorry for the late update. **

**This chapter was inspired by my own personal Valentine's Day shopping fiasco. See, I recently got a boyfriend!...who's really difficult to buy for, mainly because he doesn't want me to spend money on him and refuses to tell me what he would like to receive as a gift. So yesterday, after spending four hours looking at every sports store and mall in my area, I went to a used book store and found seasons 1-3 of "How I Met Your Mother", which just happens to be one of his favorite shows, for like twenty bucks! Words cannot even describe my happiness in finding that gift. I'm also making him a t-shirt with all sorts of our random inside jokes(: **

**Conclusion: Boys are hard to buy presents for.**

**Anyways, I'm going to give you this chapter's code words! You know how this goes, leave the word of your choice in a review to vote for...What Sirius should end up buying Hermione!**

**1) BRAD AND ANGELINA- A piece of jewelry of some sort.**

**2) ELLEN AND PORTIA- A sexual favour of some sort. If you choose this, what should the sexual favour be?**

**3) JOHN AND YOKO- A lame-ass mix tape.**

**4) BARBIE AND KEN - Some sort of romantic outing.**

**5) KERMIT AND MS. PIGGY- A serenade!**

**Okay so, review and leave a code word! I'll try to be better about updating!**

**KAY(:**


	20. Part the Eighteenth: LMFAO

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part the Eighteenth:**

* * *

><p>"So I see you liked the necklace, love." Sirius commented, nodding towards Hermione's neck. A diamond pendant hung around it, shimmering in the sunlight that was streaming in from the car windows. Hermione fidgeted with the purse on her lap.<p>

"I adore it, Sirius. Or at least, it's a lot better than the other gift you got me." She said, rolling her eyes. Sirius blushed, but smiled a little.

* * *

><p><em> Valentine's Day Flashback:<em>

_Hermione looked up when she heard a knock on the door to the hotel room. She sighed and finished folding her clothes, putting them in her suitcase. The knocking continued. She huffed._

_"Come in." she called. The door opened, revealing Sirius, holding a radio in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. He was wearing a suit and tie. Hermione smiled as he closed the door behind him._

_"Happy Valentine's Day, pet." He said, grinning and kissing her cheek._

_"Are you here to give me a present?" she asked eagerly. Sirius chuckled and nodded, setting the radio down on the table along with the wine. It took him a moment of fooling around with the CD player for him to get the music to play. Hermione smiled as he poured them both glasses of wine, while Elton John's "Your Song" streamed from the radio. Sirius grabbed a nearby hairbrush and began to mouth the words in an amusingly corny way. Hermione giggled and tilted her head at him. When the song was finished, Sirius turned and pressed a button on the radio, and club music began to play, the bass pounding the room. Hermione frowned when he began to unbutton his shirt and take off his jacket. She started cracking up when Sirius began to dance._

_He was an extremely awful dancer._

_All of a sudden, the thumping bass stopped._

_"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Sirius yelled, ripping his clothes off, revealing a shiny spandex, purple and gold, leopard print Speedo. Hermione screamed in surprise and fell back on the bed. Sirius stopped and turned the music off._

_"Harry told me it was your favorite song!" he said defensively when he saw her disturbed expression._

_"That was so random!" she cried, tossing his pants back at him. "Put those back on."_

_"Well sorry if I believed him." Sirius said, stepping into his trousers. He looked up when he heard Hermione begin to laugh._

_"I think that was the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me." She said in between laughs. Sirius scowled and hung his head in embarrassment. He grabbed the stereo and bolted out of the room._

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><p><strong>AN: So, here's to an awfully short chapter! I've been so busy. I took a practice ACT test two days ago! *crosses fingers* Hope that turned out well.**

**Well, last chapter, I asked a question of what Hermione's present should be. Kermit and Miss Piggy won, meaning that Sirius would serenade her. So there we go. It was suggested to me that he should bust out into "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO. If you go watch the music video, it'll make so much more since. **

**Anyways, you all know that this story is themed around transportation! I'm running out of themes! Such as busses, cars, and things like that. If you have any ideas, put it in a review along with the Code Word: BUBBLEWRAP. Any form of transportation that you can think of. It can be as ridiculous as you'd like. Because the more ridiculous it is, the more likely I am to use it(: Think about it this way...if I don't get any ideas soon, I'll have to put this story to an end...so bring ideas forward! (Heh. Bribery...)**

**Enjoy! **

**KAY(:**


	21. Part the Nineteenth: Mirror Mirror

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part the Nineteenth:**

* * *

><p>"This is the most homosexual thing that I have ever done in my entire life." Sirius mumbled, looking at his feet as he trailed behind the group with Hermione who laughed at his sulky voice.<p>

"Well what other homosexual things you've ever done, Sirius?" she asked with a smirk. "A midnight escapade with Remus involving pumpkin juice and a silencing charm?"

"No." Sirius said, scowling. Hermione laughed again and walked ahead to catch up with Ginny and Harry.

Moody had decided to take everyone to a Muggle carnival.

Ignoring the constant and vehement mumbles and grumbles, the one eyed Auror had insisted on dragging everyone along to the fair, after reading about it in the Muggle paper.

"Giant wheels that take you up in the air, candy made of cotton, and horses impaled on poles that you ride around on. We're all going." he had said gruffly, slamming the paper down on the table of the little restaurant that they were all breakfasting at. "Just remember, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

And now, here they were, trudging around the carnival grounds, looking warily at all of the attractions. Only Harry and Hermione were actually enjoying themselves, Hermione telling stories of when she used to go with her parents to fairs as a child, and Harry telling stories about being locked in his broom cupboard while Dudley went to the carnival with his friends. Ron, on the other hand, was completely freaked out when he saw the merry-go-round, ("Horses on sticks, man. Bloody Muggles are mental, they are."), and Sirius was the most disgruntled of all, after hearing that carnivals were for little children.

"Come on, lovely. Can we not just slip away and fool around for a bit?" he mumbled under his breath as he and Hermione watched Tonks try and throw a hoop around a bottle in order to win a huge teddy bear. Hermione scowled, but sighed.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." she said, glancing around, looking for somewhere that they could go. She grinned and grabbed Sirius' hand, dragging him towards a large square building with a sign bearing the words:

Mirror Maze!

"Mirror maze?" Sirius asked, wrinkling his nose. Hermione nodded enthusiastically as she handed the carnival worker outside of the building enough tickets to get into the maze.

"Yes. It's basically a huge labyrinth of rooms, with mirrors on the walls, and it's extremely difficult to find your way through. We'd be left alone for as long as we want!"

"Smart girl." Sirius said grinning. They walked into the first room of the maze. Sirius gasped, taken aback.

"How the hell are we supposed to find our way out of here?"

"Very, very carefully." Hermione said, walking towards one of the mirrored walls, and touching it. She proceeded to do the same to the other walls, finally finding the way out. She motioned for Sirius to follow her. They did this through several more rooms, until they were farther into the maze. Hermione looked at Sirius suggestively, and the two jumped at each other in a tangle of arms. In no time, Sirius had slipped Hermione's jeans off, tossing them aside, running his hands appreciatively over her bare bottom. He growled. Hermione looked up at him.

"What?"

"There's like, a billion reflections of your delicious ass." he said reverently. Hermione snorted and kissed him. Just then, they heard sounds from one of the other rooms. Hermione pulled away and ran to grab her jeans, but before she reached them, Ron and Harry walked into the room.

"Argh!" Harry yelled, jumping back at the sight of his godfather and his partially unclothed friend. Ron grinned and punched the air.

"Alright! Hermione's ass!" he bellowed. He looked around, mouth open. "There's like, a billion reflections of it!"

"That's what I said!" Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air, beaming. Hermione had finally pulled on her jeans, her face extremely red.

"Are we all done talking about my ass?" she spat. Ron and Sirius looked at each other and then back at her.

"No." they both said together.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Well, I'm extremely sorry. It's been months! Here's my reason. My parents went through a nasty divorce over the summer, so my mother and I have had to live with my grandmother who doesn't have internet. I just got a new laptop of my own, and I bought my grandma a wireless router, and now I am bringing you this chapter. I promise I'll try and update faster this time, but it might be a week or two since I just started school this past week. <strong>

**Anyways(: I've missed writing! I've missed this story! And I hope everyone loves it! Thank you for your lovely reviews and such, even after this huge time lapse. **

**Where should Sirius and Hermione visit next? Leave the special word at the end of a review!**

**1. AVACADO- A hot air balloon.**

**2. STARFRUIT- Bicycles! **

**3. KIWI- Be creative(: Make one up and tell me about it in a review along with the word! **

**Thank you all! **

**KAY(:**


	22. Part the Twentieth: Banana Hammock

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part the Twentieth:**

* * *

><p>Hermione was bored. There was no getting around it. And there was nothing to do. Everyone was outside of the hotel rooms on the balconies watching the rain, or inside drinking steaming pot of coffee and playing cards. The precipitation was pounding on the roof of the tiny motel, and Hermione could tell just by looking out of the window by the door that the thick torrents of rain were ice cold and sharp. She shivered. Sirius and Harry were sitting on the bed nearest her, trying to bewitch empty paper cups to fly around the room. Suddenly, Harry grinned and looked at her.<p>

"I'm thirsty, Hermione." he said, putting his wand in his pocket. Hermione beamed and jumped from the chair she had been sitting in.

"Oh, Harry, that's the best idea you've ever had!"

"I agree with, Mione." Sirius said, standing up and dusting his hands on his jeans. "Let's go find a bar." Hermione slipped her raincoat over her shoulders, as did Harry and Sirius. In about ten minutes, they were standing in the rain at a bus stop, waiting for a bus to take them into the village. Conveniently, they hadn't thought to grab an umbrella. By the time the bus arrived, Hermione was shivering and was holding onto Harry's arm to keep warm while Sirius tried to light a cigarette. When the bus came, the trio was more than happy to climb on. It was practically empty, besides an old woman in the very back row, and a man with a hood over his face in the front behind the driver. Hermione, Harry, and Sirius sploshed their way towards the middle of the bus and plopped down into three plastic seats.

"I don't know about you two, but I'm about sick of this 'mystery mission' that Moody's forcing us to participate in. Bloody mad, he is. I'd at least like to know what type of mission this is." Sirius mumbled, slouching in his seat.

"Watch it be one of those deals where at the end we find out it's all been about finding the treasure of friendship." Harry said, snorting. Hermione grinned.

"I don't really see Mad-Eye Moody being a treasure of friendship kind of guy, Harry." she pointed out, and Harry shrugged.

"Harry does have a legitimate point, though." Sirius said, sitting up a bit. "I could see him putting us through all of this to teach us how to work together as a team and be able to protect each other, and making us keep an eye out for danger, even in the Muggle world."

"Constant vigilance." Hermione and Harry blurted at the same time. Sirius nodded.

"So what you guys are saying is, it's not even a mission at all?" Hermione asked. Harry and Sirius looked at each other.

"I don't see how it could be." Harry said slowly. Sirius nudged his godson.

"Our stop." he explained. The three stood up and reluctantly got off of the bus, back into the rain, quickly running under the overhang of a nearby building. The village shops and restaurants were all closed, the street was empty, and a streak of lightning cracked through the sky, followed by a peal of rumbling thunder. Sirius wrapped his arm around Hermione protectively, and turned to a shivering Harry.

"What kind of village doesn't even have a decent bar?" He asked, bitterly. Harry nodded and looked up and down the cold, empty street. Hermione coughed and pointed to a pink, glowing light near the left side of the street. They all looked at each other curiously, and apparently all thinking the same thing, started walking towards the light, running in between overhangs to try to keep dry.

"What do you think it is?" Harry panted, wiping water from his glasses with his shirt sleeve. Sirius glanced at his godson.

"Maybe its a Muggle nightclub."

"Shit, I'm hardly presentable for a nightclub." Hermione said, biting her lip. Sirius laughed.

"None the less, they're sure to have drinks."

"Merlin, I need one." Harry groaned. "Bad." Soon, they made it down to the end of the street, where they were greeted with the sight of an enormous, brick building reading:

Banana Hammock Bar and Bathhouse

The trio paused and looked at each other with wary expressions. Sirius was the first to clear his throat.

"D'you think it's a...?"

"I think so..." Harry replied hesitantly. Hermione snorted.

"Really, you two, how could it not be a gay bar when it's called 'Banana Hammock', and when they run a bathhouse as well as a bar?"

"Well it's just..." Harry began.

"I'm not so thirsty anymore." Sirius said quickly, beginning to turn around and walk back down the street. Hermione promptly grabbed the back of his jacket.

"Oh, no, no, no. I didn't come all this way in the pouring rain to end up not getting my drink." she said, in that bossy little way of hers. "We're going. And if any men try to bust a move, then you two can tell them about how straight you are." Sirius opened his mouth to argue, and Harry glowered, but Hermione silenced any protests from either one with a glare. They had no choice but to follow her as she marched across the street and into the Banana Hammock. When Sirius and Harry caught up with her, both of their mouths dropped open.

They were standing in a huge room, with tall ceilings and concrete floors. Pink strobe lights were flickering in time to the chest-pounding thump of the bass of a Muggle pop song. The majority of the men on the dance floor were either shirtless or wearing a Speedo or shorts with muscle shirts. Hermione turned around to grin up at her two boys. Sirius gave a yelp when a well built, blonde man in swim shorts smacked his arse. Hermione giggled. Harry wrinkled up his nose while watching a pair of men on the dance floor, grinding their pelvises against each other enthusiastically. Hermione didn't seem to have a problem with any of this, and was in the process of hoisting herself up onto a tall stool in front of the bar, ordering a huge drink for herself. Sirius quickly followed suit, sitting beside his witch, and making a point to kiss her passionately and put his arm around her waist, before pulling back from the kiss and glaring pointedly at any scantily-clad man looking in his direction. Harry awkwardly sat in between Sirius and a heavy set black man, who subtly smirked up at him approvingly. Both Sirius and Harry ordered a drink and gulped it down as fast as possible.

"Hermione, can we _please _leave?" Harry begged, leaning over the bar so that he could see her properly. Sirius put his drink down and nodded.

"Yes, love, please." He hissed. "That bartender keeps looking at my crotch."

"But I haven't finished my drink." Hermione pouted, looking wistfully into her cup. Sirius stood up and paid the bartender for their drinks. He scowled when the bartender passed him a phone number with his change. Hermione could barely contain her chuckle. Harry however was looking around him, as if waited to be violated by a man.

"I don't trust them behind me." he whispered to Sirius who nodded solemnly. "I mean, how hard would it be to tell my girlfriend that her competition was that guy over there?!" He pointed to a Speedo clad man who was staring right at him, waving at him flirtatiously. Sirius gulped.

"We're leaving." he said decisively, grabbing Hermione's hand and dragging her out of the Banana Hammock, Harry following close behind.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> **An amazingly fast update(: I picked this setting for this chapter because several people suggested it. I have nothing against anyone living this lifestyle, just saying. **

**Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews, even after such a long lag in updates there for a while. You guys are great!**

**Okay(: Now my favorite part...you know how this goes, guys.**

**1) PARIS- A sexy massage turns foul when a character of your choice walks in accidentally. **

**2) NEWYORK- An entire chapter dedicated to 'That's What She Said' jokes.**

**3) ROME- A scenario of your choice! **

**Put the word in a review and give me some input! I love hearing what y'all have to say about this story! Let me know what you like and don't like about it! **

**Thank you, dears(: Please enjoy.**

**KAY**


	23. Part the 21st: That's What She Said!

**Are We There Yet?**

**Part the Twenty-first:**

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><p>"I need my toothbrush." Harry mumbled, shoving past Hermione, who was unpacking her suitcase in a new hotel room. She smiled at her friend.<p>

"Where did you see it last?" she asked, in a motherly voice. Harry thought for a moment.

"In the other hotel room." He said grumpily. "Dammit. Now my mouth will be all nasty."

"That's what she said!" Sirius exclaimed from his seat on the windowsill. Ginny snorted into her cup of morning coffee and gave Sirius a high-five. Ronald looked confused.

"That's what who said?" he asked, scratching his head. Hermione giggled. Sirius shrugged.

"It could be anybody."

"Yes, but who particularly?"

"Anyone. Anyone who's a female." Sirius answered. Harry shook his head. He paced around the room, checking everywhere for his toothbrush.

"God, I _know _that I brought it with me." he said, folding his arms across his chest. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"That's what she said!" Sirius barked. Hermione rolled her eyes, but tried not to smile. Harry, on the other hand, didn't seem to hear.

"Alright, so last night, I had it in my mouth..."

"That's what she said." Sirius whispered.

"But I took it out, because I had to spit..."

"That's. What. She. Said."

"And then I dropped it, because it was too slippery..."

"She also said that."

"I think I left it in the other room." Harry decided. He barely noticed that Hermione, Ginny, and Sirius were silently shaking with laughter. "Wait! I was brushing my teeth, and Remus kept knocking on the door and I got irritated and asked if he was coming in or not!"

"That's what she said!"

"And when I said that, I accidentally tossed my toothbrush into the loo!" Harry cried. He looked around. "What's funny?"

"You're doing that on purpose." Ginny said, bursting out laughing. Hermione nodded her agreement through her giggles. Sirius on the other hand was clutching his sides and throwing his head back. Harry glared at them all.

"Way to be mature, guys."

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><p><strong>AN: I've been so busy! But here's a chapter. The majority of the reviews asked for this, so here. I know it's not the best, but still. **

**I hope you all enjoy it! I'll try to get a new chapter up.**

**Here's the review challenge this time! But I think it'll be fun. I just need participation. **

**Okay. So in a review, leave three to five words of your choosing. Any words that you like. Make them weird and choose obscure or random words. If it's a word that has a weird definition, tell me what it means. Give me words that you think are just hilarious. I'll pick my favorites, and use them somewhere in the next chapter. Try to make this a challenge for me(: I'll put your name at the end of the chapter if I like one of your words.**

**This should be fun if people participate. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**KAY(:**


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